When I used to wash my hair with a two-for-one shampoo and conditioner, I would wash it twice, which is completely unnecessary, because that's the point - it's one bottle. Because I used to have the shampoo, that's one, conditioner,… — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
Another stupid thing I believed for a long time was that pizza was supposed to be said peed-za. — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
Seattle is a place I've lived only a couple of years, but I feel like I've been adopted by this city. It's like a… — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
I have had vegan Thanksgiving of tofurkey and soy gravy. And it's not to say that Thanksgiving will ever justify the genocide of the… — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
The words we use have weight. Whether it's in a conversation with a friend or something said publicly on stage or broadcast. And as… — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
Telling me that I’m obsessed with talking about racism in America is like telling me I’m obsessed with swimming when I’m drowning. — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
I've been approached after shows from people who said, 'I don't agree with anything you said, but I laughed the whole way through.' That's… — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
Just give us 50 years where we're the only ones who are allowed to profit from art, and then you can do whoever you… — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
There are some dogs that are gigantic that look like they shouldn't be in existence. — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
Both my parents are immigrants. I've seen different struggles they've had. There's a reason you don't see me using accents. I don't do impressions… — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
I would love the opportunity to create my own program. I feel like a TV show with a format of monologue with lots of… — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
I never learned how to tie my shoes, and I was mocked for that. I still don't know how to. — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
I'm not a politician, I'm not an ideologue, I'm not an organizer anymore. I'm a human being sharing ideas, and those ideas have to… — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
We've never had a female President in this country, which I find stunning — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
