“About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him -- which I assumed was wildly out of his control -- that wanted me dead. And… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“So, Belle, what's new today?" Dad," I said, grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "I'm in the deepest love that has… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“I'll have AB positive', I told Josh when he returned from the dance floor, 'What's it made of? Apples and Bananas?' -Belle Goose” — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“The two things I look for in a guy is how tall he is and whether or not he's a vampire. Pretty much all… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“He made small talk on the way about how he was abandoned as a child and will only rest easy once he is avenged.… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“I typed in a single word: Vampre. Google asked, 'Did you mean vampire?' I said, 'Yes.” — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“I was so attracted to him I could have peed myself right there on the spot, but I hadn't done anything like that in… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“And don't trouble yourself too much if you don't laugh at what you are about to read, for if you perk up your pink… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“Germs contagious, contagious alert! But Edwart and Purell are stronger than dirt!” — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“You're lucky I was on that roof all day. That old man... he was trying to sell you a Sega product.” — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“Suddenly I blurted out. "I love you more than everything in the entire galaxy combined into one potent, delicious piece of gum!” — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
