“So, Belle, what's new today?" Dad," I said, grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "I'm in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the world." Gosh, Belle. When someone asks you 'What's new?'… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“So, Belle, what's new today?" Dad," I said, grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "I'm in the deepest love that has… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“I'll have AB positive', I told Josh when he returned from the dance floor, 'What's it made of? Apples and Bananas?' -Belle Goose” — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“The two things I look for in a guy is how tall he is and whether or not he's a vampire. Pretty much all… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“He made small talk on the way about how he was abandoned as a child and will only rest easy once he is avenged.… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“I typed in a single word: Vampre. Google asked, 'Did you mean vampire?' I said, 'Yes.” — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“I was so attracted to him I could have peed myself right there on the spot, but I hadn't done anything like that in… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“And don't trouble yourself too much if you don't laugh at what you are about to read, for if you perk up your pink… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“Germs contagious, contagious alert! But Edwart and Purell are stronger than dirt!” — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“You're lucky I was on that roof all day. That old man... he was trying to sell you a Sega product.” — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“Suddenly I blurted out. "I love you more than everything in the entire galaxy combined into one potent, delicious piece of gum!” — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“We began to butterfly kiss, which is when you touch your eyelashes to the other person's skin. I was going to respect Edwart's desire… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
“I had to admit, I did look stunning for a caterpillar's pupal casing. Lucy and Laura would say I looked more "hAwWt and jUiCaYyY… — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
