They played a Chris Brown marathon on the radio station today. It was hit after hit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I had the best day ever, I ran into my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend…With my car. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't really hate you, it's just that if you were on fire, I'd roast marshmallows.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to break up too, because I couldn't stand another day being around you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you actually have to tell someone that you're being sarcastic. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I'm being sarcastic, please don't take offense. It's just my way of not punching you in the face. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You posted a status on your friend's Facebook when he wasn't looking? Please tell me how great of a hacker you are. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I must have missed school the day we learned about Abraham Lincoln being a vampire slayer... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm sarcastic & I have a smart a* attitude! It's a natural defense against drama, bullshit and stupidity, and I don't give… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're lesbian? You're not attracted to men...but you're dating girls that looks like men. That makes complete sense! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back...So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What did I do to give you the impression I actually care about what you think? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a red head guy works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like most people as long as they're not behind a steering wheel or a keyboard. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men never do anything right. And if they do something right, they'll never do it again. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
