Sarcasm Quotes · Page 25

“All right. The snow may be falling in the winter of my discontent, but at least I've got sarcastic company.”

— John Green

Females: I'ma slap that b*tch when I see her, she got me f*cked up! Girl walks past. She lucky she ain't look…

— Pretty Ladii

“Knock him out, Paris!' 'Sure. Want me to spew diamonds from my ass while I’m at it?”

— Gena Showalter

History teaches us virtue, but nature never ceases to teachh us vice.

— Ludwig Borne

I can't wait for valentines day because I get to make cupcakes for a special someone and that special someone is me.

— Anonymous

I love the French for their sarcasm, their irony. I love them for their bad moods.

— Marjane Satrapi

I suggest you stop talking to me, your ignorance is contagious.

— Syoung

“He did not joke, as the newspapers dared report, for sarcasm is bitter and conceals ferments of despair.”

— Jean Genet

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I…

— Mark Twain

“So while I can spin my fantasy whenever I wish, I’m afraid you wouldn’t do for me.” Sarcasm dripped from her every…

— Christina Dodd

sarcasm and jokes were often the bottle in which clinical depressives sent out their most plangent screams for someone to care and…

— David Foster Wallace

“See the healer, Sage. We have a big week ahead of us, and I can’t afford you falling dead on me.” “I…

— Hannah Nicole Maehrer

“I’ve been a bad influence on you, Mr. Galloway. Less of the sarcasm, young man. Cynicism doesn’t suit you,” she said. “I…

— Lauren James

“Right. That's twenty-two fifty." "Twenty-two fifty?" We can't hide our exasperation. "Well, yeah - this is a classy joint, you know." "That's…

— Markus Zusak

“She wished she had a set of greeting cards at the ready, but Hallmark probably didn’t make any that said Thank you…

— Gina Damico

“Hello, Mrs. Tran...I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars…

— Nenia Campbell

I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having…

— MaryJanice Davidson

“He was impugning my virtue. I ought to have been offended, but for some reason the idea tickled me. That could be…

— Rachel Hartman

“Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary,” Apollo remarked casually. I grinned at him. “I don’t think ‘assholeness’ is a word.”…

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

“You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister." "Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died…

— George R.R. Martin

We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer…

— Arthur Conan Doyle

“Sooner or later, you will discover which kind of father you are, and at that moment you will, with perfect horror, recognize…

— Michael Chabon

“Please do not think that I am accusing socialists of insincerity or that I wish to hold them up to scorn either…

— Joseph A. Schumpeter

The object of a comedy is not to correct morals or ridicule the vices of society; no, a comedy should depict the…

— Vissarion Belinsky

“I can give you two words," I tell him. "The second is off. Can you guess the first?”

— Darren Shan

“Dr. Cox: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man Not Caring. [points to self]”

— Bill Lawrence

Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.

— Mark Twain

“We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.”

— Sandra Chami Kassis

I saw the most beautiful moving painting at the art gallary the other day, but then I realized it was a mirror...

— Nikhil Saluja

“That's sarcasm! You can't talk to me like that! You're just a servant!" "That's right. And so are you.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Lord Ironman, please play tonsil hockey with me, just this one time. There, does that make you happy?”

— Mercy Celeste

“Don't put all your money on fairness. It scarcely has any lobbyists.”

— Ljupka Cvetanova

“A lot of people have it in for me. It's practically a school sport.”

— Nenia Campbell

“We don't have dealings. He just stalks me. I'm popular like that.”

— Nenia Campbell

Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours.

— Anonymous

You do realize that I'm a sarcastic being and half of my texts aren't really what they seem, right? Oh, no? Sweet.

— Taissa Farmiga

“You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!”

— Harry S. Truman

“Yeah, because you'll really be showing them, won't you. Talk about cutting up your wrists to spite your fate.”

— Alexander Gordon Smith

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target

— Ashleigh Brilliant

Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.

— Anonymous