This Christmas, every Christmas, Santa Claus is everywhere and Jesus is nowhere to be found. — Paul Park Copy Share Image
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know... the birth of Santa. — Bart Simpson Copy Share Image
Staying up all night so I can catch santa and give him the hands for not getting me what I wanted last… — T-Goods Copy Share Image
I want to create resolution and inclusion, so I created Black Santa because his eyes see no color. — Baron Davis Copy Share Image
Jesus was a white man, too. Its like we have, hes a historical figure thats a verifiable fact, as is Santa, I… — Megyn Kelly Copy Share Image
Santa Jr. I was a cop. Yes, I was officially Santa. But a younger Santa. He goes young, clean-shaven, to how we… — Judd Nelson Copy Share Image
May Santa Claus grant you all that you wish for this Christmas. Here's wishing you and all your loved ones a very… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You folks feeling the economic pinch? Are you a little fed up with the economic news? It's bad. The department stores, this… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father,… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
“In hind sight, telling him all strangers wanted to eat him wasn’t my finest hour. Having to explain to a bunch of… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
What is the real purpose behind the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? They seem like greater steps toward faith… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
It's very important to not repeat yourself. After 'Delhi Belly,' I was offered 40 'Delhi Belly's and you can't do that! So… — Vir Das Copy Share Image
One time I asked Brasky to dress up as Santa for a Christmas party I was having for my children. Anyway, Brasky… — Bill Brasky Copy Share Image
I had this grand idea that Elvira's kind of the Santa Claus of Halloween - at the malls, you'd have an Elvira… — Cassandra Peterson Copy Share Image
I was a trial lawyer. At the same time, I was a teacher. I taught about the political and social content of… — Ben Stein Copy Share Image
PEOPLE DIE. This is the fact the world desperately hides from us from birth. Long after you find out the truth about… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not… — H.L. Mencken Copy Share Image
I love big shrimp, like Japanese botan shrimp and the meaty ones from Santa Barbara, Calif. In classic Japanese cooking, shrimp like… — Nobu Matsuhisa Copy Share Image
Texas, to be respected must be polite. Santa Anna living, can be of incalculable benefit to Texas; Santa Anna dead, would just… — Sam Houston Copy Share Image
Every year, dads will dress up as Santa and try to surprise their kids by coming down the chimney, and every year,… — Kyle Dunnigan Copy Share Image
We laughed about all the kids who believed in the Santa Clause myth and got nothing but a bunch of cheap plastic… — Jeannette Walls Copy Share Image
I'm the youngest of five kids, and I wanted attention. And in Santa Barbara, there was lots of theater going on, so… — Anthony Edwards Copy Share Image
When I was 18 at the Santa Ana River Jetty is where I put my first board in the water that I… — Dick Dale Copy Share Image
When I was in college, I wanted to be editor of 'Reason' when I grew up. It was an impractical ambition, especially… — Virginia Postrel Copy Share Image
Don't get too scared if a fat dude in red shows up at your door step and tries to wrap you up… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
The first sort of big present I remember getting from Santa Claus was quite a small telescope that I remember going into… — Chelsea Clinton Copy Share Image
Beginning with Santa in infancy, and ending with the Tooth Fairy as the child acquires adult teeth. Or, plainly put, beginning with… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
The only school that let me in was U.C. Santa Cruz, which is where I went. They didn't have a journalism program,… — David Talbot Copy Share Image
I wanted to ask a thousand questions, but there was no one to ask. Besides I knew that people only told lies… — Marilyn Monroe Copy Share Image
My father managed shopping malls when I was a kid, and my high school job was to dress up in an elf… — Karen Duffy Copy Share Image
Department store Santas are apparently being trained to lower children's expectations about toys because of the recession. Yeah, it's weird when you… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Obama's gonna play Santa Claus with the minimum wage. He's got no successes to brag about. He cannot talk about a robust… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
“Without missing a beat he said, “This year, Santa, I’d like a pony and an Easy-Bake Oven.” Raja grunted and pushed him… — Karsten Knight Copy Share Image
On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
An essential point in the social philosophy of interventionism is the existence of an inexhaustible fund which can be squeezed forever. The… — Ludwig von Mises Copy Share Image
I was raised in Topanga Canyon. It's an eclectic community up in the Santa Monica mountains. A lot of musicians lived there… — Inara George Copy Share Image
It is that bizarre thing. If I had kids, I, of course, would tell them there's Santa, but it's also just an… — Tig Notaro Copy Share Image
