“Since zombies are slower than humans, your family should be able to calmly turn around and walk away from danger. That’s the theory. In practice, executing even the simplest maneuver with kids is virtually impossible. They naturally do the opposite… — James Breakwell Copy Share Image
“Do get a copy of this book you can keep. If you use it right, it’ll be covered in dirt and blood splatter by… — James Breakwell Copy Share Image
“My wife gave birth 4 times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth 0 times and I don't… — James Breakwell Copy Share Image
“Reach for the stars. Really stretch. They're still billions of miles away. Just like your dreams.” — James Breakwell Copy Share Image
“Since zombies are slower than humans, your family should be able to calmly turn around and walk away from danger. That’s the theory. In… — James Breakwell Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I wonder how such beautiful kids can really be mine. Then my 4-year-old opens a door and runs into the door frame. Then… — James Breakwell Copy Share Image
“I've never been thrown out of a bar, but I got kicked out of a tea party for slurping my imaginary tea.” — James Breakwell Copy Share Image
“My 3-year-old called her eyebrows "eye mustaches". I was going to correct her, but instead I upgraded my vocabulary.” — James Breakwell Copy Share Image
