“White people love rock climbing almost more than they love camping. This is because the activity affords them the opportunity to be outside, to use a carabiner for something other than their keys, and to purchase a whole new set… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“The first stage of camping always involves a trip to an outdoor equipment store like REI. These stores are well known for their abundance of white customers and their extensive inventory of things for white people to buy and only… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“White people are drawn to farmer’s markets like moths to a flame. In fact, white people have such strong instincts that if you release… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“The process of reading is somehow heightened through the process of doing it near water. Extreme reading!” — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“This is because white people need to show off the books that they have read. Just as hunters will mount the heads of their… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“For white people, nothing makes them appreciate the gift of life more than voluntarily trying to end it.” — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“Right now, all white people are either wearing or coveting a pair of Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. These sunglasses are so popular now that you… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“You don't have to be white to be white, you just have to be rich.” — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“It is the dream of every white person to be able to resolve all conflicts by complaining to unrelated parties. Because of this, white… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“When it comes to the subject it's best to understand that white people do not recognize public transit as a viable option until a… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“All white people are born with a singular mission in life in order to pass from regular whitehood into ultra-whitehood. Just as Muslims have… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“Just as hunters will mount the heads of the kills, white people need to let people know that they have made their way to… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“When white people envision their perfect home, it always has hardwood floors. In fact, most white people would prefer a dirt floor over wall-to-wall… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“If you are able to introduce a white person to a new cheese, it's like introducing them to a future spouse.” — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
