“My friends scoffed at my anxiety and said dumb things like, 'Fifty is the new forty!' Which just made me realize that there are a whole lot of other people who suck at math as bad as I do. No.… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
To the newcomer to the south, hearing that a coworker plans a weekend visit to 'mama and them's' (the correct plural possessive, don'tchaknow), might… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
Pecans are not cheap, my hons. In fact, in the South, the street value of shelled pecans just before holiday baking season is roughly… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“She suggested we 'crouch' buck nekkid on the bed or a dresser and leap out at him from the shadows. Now, my husband can't… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“As far as I can tell, the biggest side effect of a gluten sensitivity is that you actually become the number one symptom: a… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“If you buy an SUV, you're buying your safety at the expense of someone else's." ... If you're driving a Hyundai, which basically runs on air and tofu, and you get in an accident with an SUV, are you going to say, "Well, at least I have the courage of my convictions?" Hell, no. You're going to say: "Soon's I… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share
“ [Home Economics Textbook from 1950] : "Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so you'll look refreshed when hubby comes home from work. Touch up makeup and put a ribbon in your hair. He's just been with work-weary people. Be a little gay. His boring day needs a lift." Mama Celia : "Get knee-walking drunk. You've earned it. You've… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share
I have several close friends who have run marathons, a word that is actually derived from two Swahili words: mara, which means 'to die… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
And I reminded myself that it's easy to be grateful for the obvious blessings in life, much harder to be grateful for the tough… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“Ever since they invented Hello Kitty, the world hasn't been the same. You can safely chart the rise of The Culture of Cute since… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“I think it would be funny to have one of those family decals showing a really skinny teenage girl barfing into a little chalk-outline bag (the bulimic in the family) or the dad figure dressed in the woman's underwear that he truly enjoys slipping into when no one's looking. Or the wife figure smiling with her exaggerated curly hair and… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share
“I feel guilty looking at those "People of Walmart" photos you see on the Internet. It's not cool to make fun of pitiful people.… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“This phrase did not have the ring of verisimilitude because I am famously bad at math. If I'm in charge of tipping at a… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
