My wife Quotes by Jeff Dunham

As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark.

— Jeff Dunham

“Jeff: Are you married? Bubba J.: Yep. Jeff: Your wife pretty? Bubba J.: Ye... no! Jeff: What's the difference? Bubba J.: The light.”

— Jeff Dunham

“That afternoon I ordered an information packet.”

— Jeff Dunham

When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in…

— Jeff Dunham

“Look, I know I didn't finish school but that frickin' says 'Sa ntah ah nah!”

— Jeff Dunham

I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.

— Jeff Dunham

“jose jaliopinio on a stick" do you like bmw's (big mexican weman)”

— Jeff Dunham

My goal in any show is to make people laugh. That's the No. 1 thing. Everything else pales in comparison to that.

— Jeff Dunham

The magic in performing as an entertaining ventriloquist happens when the characters come to life and the interaction between the separate personalities on stage…

— Jeff Dunham

[In my bio] is no drunk driving, there's no DUI's, there's no possession of cocaine, none of that stuff so you know, I don't…

— Jeff Dunham

A lot of my best stuff is just ad libs on stage, and that's one thing that I've gotten back to at the live…

— Jeff Dunham

Even going to college, getting my degree in Radio TV and Film, as I was approaching the time when you have to decide on…

— Jeff Dunham