I even worry about reflective flea collars. Oh, sure, drivers can see them glow in the dark, but so can the fleas. — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
It's not that I lack ambition. I am ambitious in the sense that I want to be more than I am now.… — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his hands for masturbation. — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu. — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of. Why I… — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
You don't know what it's like! Hyperactive twins! When they turned three, my doctor prescribed Ritalin -- I wouldn't dream of giving a drug… — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu! — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you. — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
I worry that drugs have forced us to be more creative than we really are. — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
