“Much energy goes into looking good and shoring up any holes that may appear in that image. This is where the pain starts, in the tremendous distance between idealistic expectations and actual performance.” — Patrick J. Carnes Copy Share Image
“Betrayal, addiction and trauma weave a design of continually recycled wounds that create an overarching pattern of compulsive relationships.” — Patrick J. Carnes Copy Share Image
“In part this is an intimacy disorder, for as soon as she starts to recommit to the relationship, he starts distancing himself. The intensity… — Patrick J. Carnes Copy Share Image
“What moves betrayal into the realm of trauma is fear and terror. If the wound is deep enough, and the terror big enough, your… — Patrick J. Carnes Copy Share Image
“However, sexual anorexics do have a definite profile that separates them from the larger population of those having difficulty being sexual: They are often… — Patrick J. Carnes Copy Share Image
“Loyalty to that which does not work, or worse, to a person who is toxic, exploitive or destructive to you, is a form of… — Patrick J. Carnes Copy Share Image
“Addicts can clearly know they need to stop and cannot. Despite the consequences they continue high-risk behavior. They become so obsessed with the behavior… — Patrick J. Carnes Copy Share Image
“Deprivation draws on two convictions: (1) The deprived person does not believe that he or she is worthy or deserving of pleasure or comfort;… — Patrick J. Carnes Copy Share Image
“By the Middles Ages it was a sin to have sex with a child. If an adult were guilty of such a sin, one… — Patrick J. Carnes Copy Share Image
“They are often extremely competent people who are committed to doing things very well and have a fear of making mistakes and being human.… — Patrick J. Carnes Copy Share Image
“It is also the soothing, medicating and nurturing that are part of betrayal bonding. Both partners are obsessed with whether she is going to… — Patrick J. Carnes Copy Share Image
“We are so used to our own history, we do not see it as remarkable or out of the ordinary, whereas others might see… — patrick j. carnes Copy Share Image
