“I wanted to find a nice quiet spot, go to sleep, and dream about kittens.” — John Corwin Dream Copy Share Image
“Apparently alcohol increases charm and courage by at least ten points.” — John Corwin Courage Copy Share Image
“Anil may have been human, but he thought like Rrilk," Phiirr said. "And I never found out what a Twinkie was.” — John Corwin Copy Share Image
“I felt a smile on my face. "Thanks." "For what?" "Using my name instead of calling me a thing.” — John Corwin Gratitude Copy Share Image
“I might be short, chubby, and require a B-cup manzier, but I was still a man.” — John Corwin Copy Share Image
“Life had jerked the carpet out from underneath us and left a shattered mess” — John Corwin Life Copy Share Image
“Tight dump on three" he said... "I have to drop a deuce on the count of three?” — John Corwin Deuce Copy Share Image
“This is worse than death. Now i have to spend eternity with my nagging wife and mother-in-law. what did i do to… — John Corwin Death Copy Share Image
“Can I finish my blasted story? We'll get to supernatural kindergarten later.” — John Corwin Kindergarten Copy Share Image
“Nothing could make me pull away meat-market love goddess. My sexy little filet mignon” — John Corwin Filet mignon Copy Share Image
“I also know I have no need to worry about him. He is ever honest when he tarries with the dryads of… — John Corwin Nature Copy Share Image
“My God, you're hurt," Kyle said. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't use his name around me right now. He's kicking my… — John Corwin Right now Copy Share Image
“Bryan helped me up. "How can you be so good one minute then clumsy the next?" I shrugged. "I've never been very… — John Corwin Fences Copy Share Image
“My mind is clear! Yay! This is so cool. I need to tell Chris. Oh, I wonder how hard the next phase… — John Corwin Gorilla Copy Share Image
“This is not good," I said. "These guys have a superiority complex bigger than Miss Compton's butt." "And she had the biggest… — John Corwin Superiority complex Copy Share Image
“Even though the place looked like Kansas, I didn´t need to tell Toto that my Facebook Places status wasnñt anywhere on the… — John Corwin Planet earth Copy Share Image
“Harb was a ticking time bomb. It was like watching a preacher with Tourette syndrome. You knew the "Shit! Balls!" was coming… — John Corwin Faith healing Copy Share Image
“almost posted to WebMD: Please help! I have this psychic sexual sense which lets me see these sex vapors emanating from women.… — John Corwin Molester Copy Share Image
“Everything occurred in phases. The "Holy Crap, We're Dead!" phase was marked by mass hysteria. Mass euphoria resulted from the "Holy Crap,… — John Corwin Life Copy Share Image
“You're my friend. You kept me safe after we busted out of Maximus's place. You dug that tunnel all the way from… — John Corwin Friendship Copy Share Image
“There are two primary essences in this universe: dark and light. Our souls are the containers of this essence, which gives us… — John Corwin Life Copy Share Image
“Wait, so you do love me?" I asked, hope welling in my heart. She growled and pounded her fist into a locker,… — John Corwin Gaze Copy Share Image
“No wonder Edward was such a crazy driver," I muttered. "Who's Edward?" Elyssa asked. "You know, from Twilight.” — John Corwin Driver Copy Share Image
“You let your mind rule your reality instead of you ruling your mind." "Are you reading this stuff out of a Dr.… — John Corwin Psychology Copy Share Image
“Despite the weight of the world on my shoulders, the temptation to stop and smell the supernatural roses tugged on my sleeves… — John Corwin Flowers Copy Share Image
“I was falling for Elyssa and my track record with girls looked like a zombie apocalypse.” — John Corwin Track record Copy Share Image
“Those are Klingon and Federation ships," I said. "You're a nerd, Shelton, but, holy crap, do I love this.” — John Corwin Klingons Copy Share Image
“I looked at her like I'd just seen a miniature Elvis break-dancing on her head.” — John Corwin Elvis Copy Share Image
“What was it about women and crying that made me feel like crap? They must have guilt pheromones in their tears.” — John Corwin Crying Copy Share Image
“I´d use Google to find out, but seem to have misplaced my house along with my laptop” — John Corwin Copy Share Image
