Long time Quotes by George Carlin

I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.

— George Carlin

With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.

— George Carlin

Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken…

— George Carlin

“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both…

— George Carlin

“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out…

— George Carlin

I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.

— George Carlin

Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.

— George Carlin

“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital…

— George Carlin

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

— George Carlin

It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,…

— George Carlin

Is there another word for synonym?

— George Carlin

The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the…

— George Carlin

These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.

— George Carlin

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

— George Carlin

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

— George Carlin