Like Toothpaste Quotes by Earl Wilson

If you think nobody cares if youre alive, try missing a couple of payments

— Earl Wilson

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

— Earl Wilson

Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.

— Earl Wilson

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.

— Earl Wilson

A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.

— Earl Wilson

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

— Earl Wilson

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their…

— Earl Wilson

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.

— Earl Wilson

Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

— Earl Wilson

An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

— Earl Wilson

To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.

— Earl Wilson

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.

— Earl Wilson