You're worried about the quality of John Legend and Chrissy Teigen's child care? It's not like they're getting their nanny off Craigslist. They're rich celebrities. They could get Mary Poppins to watch their baby, as in literally call Julie Andrews,… — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
If mugs made fart noises coffee shops wouldn't be relaxing, they'd sound like a yoga class in a retirement home. — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
Usually if you're a woman in Trump's bedroom, the only document you need is a nondisclosure agreement. — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
I was always a Brandon Walsh kind of gal. The good guy, the class president. He just seemed like a really solid guy. — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
You're worried about the quality of John Legend and Chrissy Teigen's child care? It's not like they're getting their nanny off Craigslist. They're rich… — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
Maybe high school would have been a good time to have a little Dylan McKay in my life. — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
I did what any good full-time working mother would do and left my screaming toddler with my husband for three weeks and convinced Comedy… — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
Scientists say that 2 degrees is the furthest we can push the planet before it turns on us. Much like a sorority girl you… — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
There's always that little bit of tension that happens when you make a joke, especially when there's a language barrier. — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
There was no better place to start understanding Alabama than in church. — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
