Always Quote by Desi Lydic

I ate an entire wedge of 'brie' before I realized it was butter.

— Desi Lydic

If mugs made fart noises coffee shops wouldn't be relaxing, they'd sound like a yoga class in a retirement home.

— Desi Lydic

I am not a well-traveled person.

— Desi Lydic

Gender equality does not exist anywhere.

— Desi Lydic

Hosts need to moderate in moderation.

— Desi Lydic

Usually if you're a woman in Trump's bedroom, the only document you need is a nondisclosure agreement.

— Desi Lydic

What does the G in 5G stand for? Gluten.

— Desi Lydic

You're worried about the quality of John Legend and Chrissy Teigen's child care? It's not like they're getting their nanny off Craigslist. They're rich…

— Desi Lydic

Maybe high school would have been a good time to have a little Dylan McKay in my life.

— Desi Lydic

I did what any good full-time working mother would do and left my screaming toddler with my husband for three weeks and convinced Comedy…

— Desi Lydic

Scientists say that 2 degrees is the furthest we can push the planet before it turns on us. Much like a sorority girl you…

— Desi Lydic

CNN doesn't waste time trying to solve a crisis or educate the viewer.

— Desi Lydic