It's a joke to think that anyone is one thing. We're all such complex creatures. But if I'm going to be a… — Alanis Morissette Copy Share Image
What I don't like today is, to put it coarsely, the phony Hasidism, the phony mysticism. Many students say, "Teach me mysticism."… — Elie Wiesel Copy Share Image
It is by vivacity and wit that man shines in company; but trite jokes and loud laughter reduce him to a buffoon. — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
Sardar: What is the name of your car? Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'. Sardar: Oh, what a… — ZhatsPrincess Copy Share Image
When you get off stage, the audience should know a little bit about you. Not where you are from, but how you… — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
For now, we assume that self-evolving robots will learn to mimic human traits, including, eventually, humor. And so, I can't wait to… — Lance Morrow Copy Share Image
I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
At bottom, to be colored means that one has been caught in some utterly unbelievable cosmic joke, a joke so hideous and… — James A. Baldwin Copy Share Image
The more moral the people are in their business dealings, the less paperwork you need, the more handshakes you can have, the… — Rick Santorum Copy Share Image
Man must be able to recover, to win out, triumph over adversity. And I don't mean just the little adversity like paying… — Frank Capra Copy Share Image
Families are like countries. They have their own language and jokes and secrets and assumptions about the right and wrong ways of… — Roland Merullo Copy Share Image
Man at restaurant: Excuse me waiter,could you come here? WAITER: Is everything okay? MAN: Everything is fine,but would you please try my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In movies, you don't get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it's good or bad.… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I have been so very, very fortunate in my life. I've met or been in contact with several of my childhood heroes.… — Wayne Gerard Trotman Copy Share Image
I think like almost everything in evolution, the old forms persist. New forms come along - not always, of course; there are… — Brian Boyd Copy Share Image
I felt I should have been the happiest person in the world. But I looked inside, and that happiness was only on… — David Lynch Copy Share Image
One day I asked my heart - What is Love? Heart Replied - See don't ask me Questions which are out of… — Raghav Singh Copy Share Image
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I think when people watch a lot of artists, they're expecting this showiness, and I'm cracking jokes with people. I'm heckling back.… — Caitlin Rose Copy Share Image
I'm against eating a human being alive - I don't do it. Somebody might make cannibalism jokes and laugh it off like… — John Maus Copy Share Image
If you want something to be done you got to do it for yourself is not an excuse to master bate some… — Mathew Brakett Copy Share Image
At the same time, we can't blame comedians for taking time to learn. Any critic of comedy who believes that he has… — Guy Branum Copy Share Image
I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
She had something down there twice as big as mine. That's why I say you better watch where you stroke, cause it… — Gary B.B. Coleman Copy Share Image
Thinking up jokes is easy. The hard part is trying them out on stage, because you never know if they're funny until… — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
I joke around sometimes and say that the DP [director of photography] is like a shrink for the director, but there's some… — Reed Morano Copy Share Image
It’s a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebody’s expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at… — Richard Kalvar Copy Share Image
The IPCC - and all the mainstream media and environmental extremists who cite it uncritically - really have become a joke in… — Joseph L. Bast Copy Share Image
I always assumed that at some point I would have to quit making jokes, get a real job and do something meaningful… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from… — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
I really get a little bit confused by all this "angry angry angry" talk when all I do is tell jokes and… — Aaron McGruder Copy Share Image
Lying contains the same hostile elements as a practical joke in that the 'victim' ends up looking foolish in his own eyes… — Sue Grafton Copy Share Image
I'd worked with Marlon [Brando] a couple of times, and he was a practical joker. He was far more interested in getting… — Johnny Depp Copy Share Image
Zen people love Buddha so tremendously that they can even play jokes upon him. It is out of great love; they are… — Rajneesh Copy Share Image
“Most unintelligent or foolish people do not regard themselves as that; they regard themselves as not-that-intelligent or not-that-wise.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Most of my favorite tweets go completely ignored but most of my favorite tweets are probably really lame or inside jokes between… — Roxane Gay Copy Share Image
What is the best sexual position to create a gorgeous, charming absolutely attractive and cute baby?… Ask my parents! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like to wear a "Do Not Disturb" sign around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock-knock jokes. "Hey,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
The State trained us to make other people's terrible jokes work, which is the other part of the game when you're here. — Robert Ben Garant Copy Share Image
I have some speakers up here, thank God, because last night I didn't have them and I was telling jokes and I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
![“I joke around sometimes and say that the DP [director of photography] is like a shrink for the director, but there's some truth in there.” quote by Reed Morano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/323/reed-morano-7427_cinema_i-joke-around-sometimes-and-say-that-the_1600758.jpg)
![“I'd worked with Marlon [Brando] a couple of times, and he was a practical joker. He was far more interested in getting jokes out than getting the words out. We laughed all the time.” quote by Johnny Depp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c9/johnny-depp-658_brando_i-d-worked-with-marlon-brando-a-couple-o_2173762.jpg)
![“Most of my favorite tweets go completely ignored but most of my favorite tweets are probably really lame or inside jokes between me and my [redacted]. See what I did there?” quote by Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b6/roxane-gay-520_ignored_most-of-my-favorite-tweets-go-completely_106926.png)
