My girlfriend thinks my jokes are stupid, but she still let's me put my penis inside of her. So, who's stupid now? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I found, especially with stand-up, that if a premise works, you can make the joke work. If a premise doesn't work, you… — Nick Kroll Copy Share Image
What is a sense of humor? Surely not the ability to understand a joke. It comes rather from a residing feeling of… — Clifton Fadiman Copy Share Image
Any so-called leader who does not take this issue (climate change) seriously or treats it like a joke is not fit to… — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
I only became a celebrity because I had a kid. Before I was pregnant nobody cared. I joke to my agent that… — Busy Philipps Copy Share Image
There are always a lot of jokes and good vibes floating through the studio so tattooing all day doesn't feel like a… — William Webb Copy Share Image
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny. — Alan King Copy Share Image
Today's tragedy in Paris reminds us very viscerally that it's a right that some people are inexplicably forced to die for. So… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
John Kerry made a joke about Bush being a moron, and now Bush wants morons to think it was a joke was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Osama Bin Laden Jokes Spread Faster Than The News Of His Death ... Here Are SomePosted by123Labels: Internet Catch, Joke, Time pass… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in… — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
Comedy is so subjective. You could be in a room with 400 people laughing at a joke and you could just not… — Todd Phillips Copy Share Image
I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Trans people deserve something vital. They deserve your respect... If you want to call me names, make jokes, doubt my intentions, go… — Bruce Jenner Copy Share Image
It was too much. The comfortable people made comfortable jokes about weather and things but I sat mostly silent saying a word… — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a… — Maria Shriver Copy Share Image
I've always been into leopard print. No joke, when I was 14 years old I wanted my entire room to be covered… — Kim Kardashian Copy Share Image
Writing a book has about it some of the anxiety of telling a joke and having to wait several years to know… — Alain de Botton Copy Share Image
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring… — Horla Copy Share Image
There are practical things which contribute to a joke's funniness. People will find a joke funnier if they are sitting closer together,… — Ben Miller Copy Share Image
I do a few jokes about the economy but from an everyday person perspective. People like to laugh, and they especially like… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is an old joke that went around- it goes, in the beginning God made man in His own image, and since… — Alistair Begg Copy Share Image
Comedians get jokes offered to them, rock stars get women and underwear thrown onstage, and I get guys that want to take… — Les Claypool Copy Share Image
I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things,… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
Why would you want to work for a living if you could just joke around? Being a celebrity expands your commercial possibilities. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
White parents use time out. My mom used a different type of time out. She'd be like, 'There...take time out to pick… — Martin Lawrence Copy Share Image
“Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind… — Wanda Sykes Copy Share Image
I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion, where you're allowed to make jokes. I don't want… — Boy George Copy Share Image
That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know.… — Alan Vega Copy Share Image
The case against Jeff Sessions was threadbare three decades ago. It's based on hearsay and innuendo and a joke he made about… — Rich Lowry Copy Share Image
Work very very hard. This business is no joke. Make sure you know what you want or you might be taking someone… — Zoe Cassavetes Copy Share Image
Humor [in a scene] is not jokes. It is that attitude toward being alive without which you would long ago have jumped… — Michael Shurtleff Copy Share Image
My first job on the radio was writing jokes for a Baltimore DJ called Johnny Walker, who was sort of a '70s… — Ira Glass Copy Share Image
It's difficult to talk to people who whisper even at home, afraid of Americans eavesdropping on them. It's not a figure of… — Vladimir Putin Copy Share Image
“I only need to write about 3,000 one-liners a day to produce a million jokes a year. Simple. I’ll just get started… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“it will be generally found that the popular joke is not true to the letter, but is true to the spirit. The… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Something is mighty wrong with our priorities when professing Christian men joke about their wives, joke about their children, and joke about… — Doug Phillips Copy Share Image
![“Humor [in a scene] is not jokes. It is that attitude toward being alive without which you would long ago have jumped off the 59th Street Bridge.” quote by Michael Shurtleff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/504/michael-shurtleff-19554_acting_humor-in-a-scene-is-not-jokes-it-is-that_611053.png)
