After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I think of a piece, and then people who are competent fabricate it. But lately I've started finger painting, which probably should… — Jenny Holzer Copy Share Image
When I was governor, if I told a joke in front of the press - I learned. I would go, "That was… — Jesse Ventura Copy Share Image
Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I definitely script things out. I definitely write things down and try to write jokes. Often, they're terrible. I often write terrible,… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
I enjoy darker sardonic wit more than knock-knock jokes. I spent the first healthy chunk of my career playing all-American, pleasant, average,… — Neil Patrick Harris Copy Share Image
So, great. This is Camp…what do you call it? Camp Fish-Blood?” Aphros frowned. “I hope that was a joke. This is Camp… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
By giving women training to sue a company for a 'hostile environment' if someone tells a dirty joke, we are training women… — Warren Farrell Copy Share Image
I try not to be mean for the sake of being mean, and if I do do a joke or a tweet… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
He [Reagan] likes to tell jokes and that's why he told the ethnic joke that got him into some trouble. Perhaps if… — Robert Scheer Copy Share Image
[There's] a joke that I've done forever: 'Nowadays they say that the largest majority of people will be Latino and you'll tell… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Small Man can be a very funny or a very tiresome Tour Companion, depending on how this kind of thing grabs you.… — Diana Wynne Jones Copy Share Image
Either over neither, both over either/or, live-and-let-live over stand-or die, high spirits over low, energy over apathy, wit over dullness, jokes over… — Marvin Mudrick Copy Share Image
One starts gambling for a joke, out of curiosity, as a little challenge to fortune. One goes on, pricked to the quick… — Matilde Serao Copy Share Image
People are making these jokes about ours being the PC 'Snow White,' where it's like, yeah, it is - because it needed… — Rachel Zegler Copy Share Image
In one decade, women had gotten more protection against offensive jokes in the workplace than men had gotten in centuries against being… — Warren Farrell Copy Share Image
I joke that I reached the bimbo trifecta when I came to Fox News! In being a former Miss America, being blonde… — Gretchen Carlson Copy Share Image
I was feeling guilty in the beginning; it was frustrating to be successful when a lot of my friends weren't. Also, I… — Cindy Sherman Copy Share Image
The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want,… — Chris Kyle Copy Share Image
One of the jokes on our flight is that, if we have a normal entry day going, the plan is for me...… — Duane G. Carey Copy Share Image
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a… — Ron White Copy Share Image
“Some people’s self-esteem was secretly improved when they discovered that their then-lovers had killed themselves over them.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
People see me laughing and telling jokes, but they had no idea after the show was over, I had no joy in… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done. You can tune me out, you can click me… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
“Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man.” — Louis C.K Copy Share Image
[Some people think] that storytelling is telling jokes. So they have to be discouraged! Then others think that storytelling-is like an encounter… — Doris Lessing Copy Share Image
Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me 5 hours to sew in a Doctor's appointment... — Robert Paul Copy Share Image
Mom: Hey honey, who are you talking too? Me; My boyfriend. Mom; Don't lie to me you fatass! You're ordering pizza aren't… — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
One of the stock Sydney jokes is of the census-taker who enquires: 'How many children have you, ma'am?' 'Two living and three… — Elspeth Huxley Copy Share Image
You who have suffered so much do not want to be with the kind of person who makes "black widow" jokes to… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
There's just something wonderful about a cold, clear winter morning that makes you want to slow down and take time to stop… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Why are you making a joke out of this?" she asks. "Because it's stupid, Nik. There's not even room in my day… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I now have two different audiences. There's the one that has been watching my action films for 20 years, and the American… — Jackie Chan Copy Share Image
When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It… — Evan Dando Copy Share Image
“Second star to the right-" "-and straight on till morning? Yeah, I've heard that one before. Lit of the Ancient Homeworlds 101…” — Linnea Sinclair Copy Share Image
I was born in Alabama. I was raised in Georgia. I'm so Southern I'm related to myself. I have a 12-year-old daughter.… — Brett Butler Copy Share Image
![“He [Reagan] likes to tell jokes and that's why he told the ethnic joke that got him into some trouble. Perhaps if reporters didn't overreact to a politician's telling the very same joke they routinely hear and tell in the city room, we'd get more humor.” quote by Robert Scheer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/17c/robert-scheer-12420_american-politics_he-reagan-likes-to-tell-jokes-and-that-s_773713.jpg)
![“[There's] a joke that I've done forever: 'Nowadays they say that the largest majority of people will be Latino and you'll tell scary stories to your grandkids: "A long time ago when I was growing up, there used to be people who were white," and the kid says, "Really?" and you say, "Yeah, like the…” quote by George Lopez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f96/george-lopez-3932_cutting_there-s-a-joke-that-i-ve-done-forever-no_1664664.jpg)
![“[Some people think] that storytelling is telling jokes. So they have to be discouraged! Then others think that storytelling-is like an encounter group . . .” quote by Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/46e/doris-lessing-501_discouraged_some-people-think-that-storytelling-is-t_2911458.jpg)
