I'm really sick of people treating me like I am a joke, next time someone play's games they're gonna get chocked. — Amanda Copy Share Image
My husband jokes that I'll invite people over for dinner and he won't know who they are or where I met them.… — Carrie-Anne Moss Copy Share Image
I started my own foundation. If you aren't familiar with it, it's called 'Febreezing the homeless.' Who would you rather give money… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
[ The aim to be big] is not a joke about my size. It's just that I'm a dreamer, but I'm following… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Baltimore has been a punchline/punching bag for years - I've landed a few blows, to be fair - but those old jokes… — Laura Lippman Copy Share Image
Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I like that we don't have to come out the first 10 minutes and score, you know, with joke, joke, joke. We… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share Image
“I’m relieved to see that even brilliant physicists make mistakes.” Kohler looked over. “What do you mean?” “Whoever wrote that note made… — Dan Brown Copy Share Image
The movie studios, they only like to make - I make a joke, but it's true - if the movie has the… — Rob Reiner Copy Share Image
Be prepared to cut your little extra lines that come after a big punchline and move on to the next joke or… — Franklyn Ajaye Copy Share Image
Who could quarrel with Clark Gable? We got on well. Whenever anyone on the set was tired or depressed, it was Gable… — Vivien Leigh Copy Share Image
He was the class clown, the court jester, because he'd learn early that if you cracked jokes and pretended you weren't scared,… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“I was thinking we could get a picture of you holding a pitchfork or something. Maybe a big wooden cross? Sound good?"(Brian)… — Stacia Kane Copy Share Image
I would love to be able to play anywhere, but to me the sweet spot is clubs and theaters, just because I… — Michael Che Copy Share Image
Comedy is just to me, maybe it's a natural knack, if I can see where the joke is in the writing and… — Matt LeBlanc Copy Share Image
I always have humour in my action movies. I think characters that make jokes under fire are more real. It somehow helps… — Shane Black Copy Share Image
Sexual harassment legislation feels unfair to men because if they sued over an ethnic joke, or over a woman discussing pornography or… — Warren Farrell Copy Share Image
You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically. — Hector Elizondo Copy Share Image
My first lessons in comedy, how to construct a joke, I learned from Eileen Brennan, who had unbelievable timing. — Rob Lowe Copy Share Image
I'm not allowed to make a joke. It is a bit unfair how I'm treated. I thought it was a joke. I… — Andy Murray Copy Share Image
It is always easy in life to make a joke on the serious thoughts than take on joke seriously in its thoughts… — Anuj Somany Copy Share Image
The government, the state, they're just objects of jokes rather than serious consideration. I can't possibly take them seriously. — Joseph Brodsky Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The joke that I make is that there are instances on the TV series that happen to me, - except on Sex… — Candace Bushnell Copy Share Image
Evolution has programmed our brains to find two things particularly interesting, and therefore memorable: jokes and sex - and especially, it seems,… — Joshua Foer Copy Share Image
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Same thing, like my commercials are often times really funny because I tend to find 30 seconds is a really good amount… — Alex Winter Copy Share Image
To such men the desperate and horrible thought has come that perhaps the whole of human life is but a bad joke,… — Hermann Hesse Copy Share Image
I'm very proud of being Jewish. It means I have a good work ethic, and you get Jewish humour and you're allowed… — Daniel Radcliffe Copy Share Image
Here's a tip. If you touch a girl, even as joke, and she pushes you off, leave... her... alone. Don't touch her.… — Jay Asher Copy Share Image
The worst thing ever that you have to explain your joke because I was very disappointed trying to explain why the joke… — Bassem Youssef Copy Share Image
Whether a man chooses to tell the truth in long sentences or short jokes is a problem analogous to whether he chooses… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it's an athletic endeavor. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I like the rough impersonality of New York ... Human relations are oiled by jokes, complaints, and confessions-all made with the assumption… — Bill Bradley Copy Share Image
I was pretty locked up emotionally as a kid - my family situation was tumultuous. But I was extroverted. So when I… — Lindsay Wagner Copy Share Image
I don't want them hip white people coming up to me and calling me no n - - or telling me n… — Richard Pryor Copy Share Image
I didn't just want to be Frank's daughter who sang Boots. I take my music very seriously and studied very hard. It's… — Nancy Sinatra Copy Share Image
Anybody can make jokes. But unless they come from conviction, and there's truth in them, you haven't nailed it. They aren't as… — Dan Jenkins Copy Share Image