So many people joke that life with me - a professed lifelong penny pincher - must be tough. But [my husband] is… — Michelle Singletary Copy Share Image
the whole point of muck-raking, apart from all the jokes, is to try to do something about what you've been writing about.… — Jessica Mitford Copy Share Image
I can’t be sure, of course, but I’d compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our… — Stephenie Meyer Copy Share Image
[John Larroquette] is very generous as the star of a show. He always made sure that if we had a joke that… — Julie Benz Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want to be defined so much by comics or cartoons. My work is more narrative than that. If you take… — Raymond Pettibon Copy Share Image
The most profound indication of social malignancy ... no sense of humor. None of the monoliths could take a joke. — Edward Albee Copy Share Image
1999 Kids : I want my bed near Window . . . . . to see the moon & stars. . . . . . . . . . 2013 Kids : I want my bed near the . . . . . mobile charging slot.. — Julie Prince Copy Share Image
If life is merely a joke, the question still remains: for whose amusement? No one knows what he can do till he… — Publilius Syrus Copy Share Image
A lot of people live with no apparent means of support. I kind of envy the musicians up there. You're down here,… — Kurt Voss Copy Share Image
What joke can I say about Donald Trump that he hasn't said about himself? When he gets dressed, he comes out as… — Michael Che Copy Share Image
We used to joke about canned men, putting people in a can and seeing how far you can send them and bring… — John Glenn Copy Share Image
“Most people do not mind having a house that is smaller and/or a car that is cheaper than their neighbours’, as long… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I don't read all the junk. I joke if I did, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. But, Sometimes… — Gretchen Carlson Copy Share Image
Here's the thing, with comedy - and I learned this from Will Ferrell - you can't be ashamed. If you're doing comedy,… — John C. Reilly Copy Share Image
What are they waiting to see?" Sam follows my gaze and I shrug. "Who knows? You could always do a dance, or… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
Perhaps there can be too much making of cups of tea, I thought, as I watched Miss Statham filling the heavy teapot.… — Barbara Pym Copy Share Image
Some of the best jokes are about funerals or people dying or whatever. Laughter and tears are two sides of the same… — Mark Bonnar Copy Share Image
I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married… — Tommy Chong Copy Share Image
I was drunk when I had my picture taken for my drivers license. That way, when the police pulls me over, I… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Iceland is 50 percent Celtic blood, from the females that they stole from us, which is why our country has only got… — Gerard Butler Copy Share Image
“One of the greatest gifts in this world is the ability to make others smile. - The Unauthorized Autobiography of Jonathan Fisher” — J.E.B. Spredemann Copy Share Image
I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
Remember that Cosby show where he harrassed the children? Well I put on a little suit and because I am so small… — Thom Yorke Copy Share Image
“You said this was going to be funny, Jim," Waits barked. "Maybe you better just circle the jokes 'cause I don't see… — Barney Hoskyns Copy Share Image
“Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Even my bio on Instagram is like, 'That girl that fell at the Olympics.' Just as a joke. Because that's how people… — McKayla Maroney Copy Share Image
World's shortest horror story consists of only two sentences. The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A man will pay 200/= for a 100/= item he wants.. A woman will pay 100/= for a 200/= item that she… — Nushra Copy Share Image
The most welcome joke to me is the one that takes the place of a heavy, not altogether innocuous thought, at once… — Friedrich Nietzsche Copy Share Image
On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Sometimes I joke around that if I weren't a musician, I would be a power lifter. I don't think people expect it… — Mirah Copy Share Image
Writing jokes for others is like having babies for someone else. It's sad. Like the woman who gives up her baby but… — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
A dirty joke is not, of course, a serious attack on morality, but it is a sort of mental rebellion, a momentary… — George Orwell Copy Share Image
You seem cynical because you're always talking about that selfish behavior that's dressed up as altruism. It doesn't mean there isn't altruism.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Animal experiments are no joke. Thank goodness scientists are finding better, more humane ways to develop treatments for cancer and other killer… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
If somebody said about me, 'I don't think his jokes are good, I don't think he's a good comedian,' I don't like… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
My knowledge of the universe is that if I write stupid jokes, the universe gives me a really nice house and great… — Joel Klein Copy Share Image
Truly love you endlessly. Every day without you is like a book without pages. I love you, I will always do, for… — F Abahusain Copy Share Image
I don't really consider myself to be a comedian. I mean, it's not like I'm sitting around writing jokes or anything. I… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
![“So many people joke that life with me - a professed lifelong penny pincher - must be tough. But [my husband] is a great money manager. And he helps me let go of my fear of spending while still being frugal.” quote by Michelle Singletary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/261/michelle-singletary-8251_frugal_so-many-people-joke-that-life-with-me-a_2933475.jpg)
![“[John Larroquette] is very generous as the star of a show. He always made sure that if we had a joke that didn't work or something, he'd fight for the other actors.” quote by Julie Benz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a13/julie-benz-7666_actors_john-larroquette-is-very-generous-as-the_1885158.jpg)
![“First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society of my high school and we waved at each other over the bong. Then I got to know people by making jokes.” quote by Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a31/stephen-colbert-503_bongs_first-in-high-school-i-smoked-a-lot-of-p_1076307.png)
