Jokes are always better than promises. Because jokes are half meant, while promises are half lies. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is… — Dana Gould Copy Share Image
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
I'm topical as hell. That's not going to change if I lose weight. There are a lot of comics that do 'fat… — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
