Secret 869119. When searching for a terrorist cell, try to remember the last place you used it. — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
Not only can you fall off the floor, you can land face first on the ceiling. — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
There's a famous saying: If 99% was good enough, gravity wouldn't work for 14 minutes every day. I did the calculation, and it's actually… — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
I'm all for one-world government, assuming we can find a world. — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
A double standard is a scandal. A single standard is an atrocity. — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
Wait, the Jesus lizard is the lizard that runs on top of the water, not the lizard that shoots blood out of its eyes?… — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be dusty. — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
In the highly unlikely event he survived the drastic changes in the ratio of his volume to his surface area, by approximately the 8th… — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
America has never lost a war. We just misplaced a couple temporarily. — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
