YouTube is the vlogs and my life, then Instagram is comedy skits and pictures that I take. Twitter's text, and Instagram Stories… — Jake Paul Copy Share Image
“People use the word 'love' a lot of different ways. Take me, for instance. I am often heard saying that I love… — Mary Beth Bonacci Copy Share Image
“Of course, in Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Michael staggered to his feet and turned to face his worst nightmare. Baal stood before him, a smirk on his face. He… — Wendy Owens Copy Share Image
“Hang on. We're leaving grass for road," Breeze warned. "Remind me to drive next time," Jinx grumbled. "Slow down!" "Did you lose… — Laurann Dohner Copy Share Image
One should as a rule respect public opinion in so far as is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of… — Bertrand Russell Copy Share Image
“My soul is chaos, how can it be at all? There is everything in me: search and you will find out ...… — Emil M. Cioran Copy Share Image
“My side felt a lot better when Nora called me at noon the next day. "My nice policeman wants to see you,"… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
I quite like being a 'comedy elder statesman.' I am a big fan, I go to watch loads of new comics, and… — Frank Skinner Copy Share Image
“I became one of those annoying people who always say Ciao! Only I was extra annoying, since I would always explain where… — Elizabeth Gilbert Copy Share Image
“Listen, Peaches, trickery is what humans are all about," said the voice of Maurice. "They're so keen on tricking one another all… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Hamilton found it difficult to concentrate on what Eliza was saying. Her lips were moving rapidly, but he couldn't actually decipher what… — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
The thing about 'Fable' is that it was such a rich world. It was, well, what the name says it is. It's… — Peter Molyneux Copy Share Image
Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“Nate jumped up and down, voice cracking as he talked. "It worked! It worked! My Taser worked! Ha! Oh yeah, oh yeah!… — Stefan Petrucha Copy Share Image
I never ask my wife about my flaws. Instead I try to get her to ignore them and concentrate on my sense… — Paul Newman Copy Share Image
“After that came her biggie: a triple murder--her dealer, the dealer's sister, and the dealer's sister's boyfriend. Reading that made me feel… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
“Though it's not as bad until we get up in the air." "How come?" he asks. "Plenty of wide open spaces up… — Jennifer E. Smith Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“His comedy pleases by the thoughts and the language, and his tragedy for the greater part by incident and action. His tragedy… — Samuel Johnson Copy Share Image
“So...I suggest you try and get control over your more unusual nature, see if you can't coax those claws away, and I'll… — Kate Griffin Copy Share Image
“When we were sprung fro the hos[ital, we waited at the elevator with two other couples, who seemed as dazed and clueless… — Rachel Dratch Copy Share Image
“Static cackled from the cafeteria speaker. A bored female voice come on. “Victoria Brennan, please report to the headmaster's office. Victoria Brennan… — Kathy Reichs Copy Share Image
This was my attempt to deter cold callers: "There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“Even when he was barely conscious, his strong personality came through. At one point the pulmonologist tried to put a mask over… — Walter Isaacson Copy Share Image
Religion theme aside, most of the time I'm in some sort of comedy and I'm a straight man and it's really just,… — Colin Hanks Copy Share Image
“In another moment he was flying down the street with his pail and a tingling rear, Tom was whitewashing with vigor, and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Welcome to the fascinating world of the undead! Please use this guidebook as a handy reference as you make your first steps… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes."… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
“It was hard to tell if he was lying, or really believed his own bullshit. “We’re good for each other. You give… — Dan Skinner Copy Share Image
Comedy takes all of life and puts it through a lens of acceptance, just by the mere act of talking about it… — Ted Alexandro Copy Share Image
“Adele was in everybody’s wish list, and her list of Romeos was nearly as long as the Yellow Pages. Some witty person… — Olga Núñez Miret Copy Share Image
I'm just saying, 'Hey, throw me a bone. How about a smile, cute t-shirt? Look at me.' Nothing - unless it's a… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
once you laugh at you own weaknesses, you can move forward. Comedy breaks down walls. It opens up people. If you're good,… — Goldie Hawn Copy Share Image
My two big date deal breakers are someone with no sense of humor and someone who chews badly. I will never be… — Elizabeth Gillies Copy Share Image
Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The best thing about where comedy is now is if you have a little bit of talent and a strong work ethic,… — Donnell Rawlings Copy Share Image
“ring aroung the roses, the body decomposes. hush, hush, hush, hush we'll all tumble down down, down into the deep. Give the… — A.G Howard Copy Share Image
“This tiger is sprawled So still and so flat, A question arises When glancing thereat. Is he asleep? to be Perfectly frank,… — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
It's not hard for me to be funny. But it's really hard. I don't think a lot of people are funny. I… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
