In my early 20s, I started doing comedy. I started doing auditions in Chicago. It led me to writing my own sketches… — Deon Cole Copy Share Image
“Jesus Christ, is everyone on something because I want some of whatever it is," Will grumbled, reaching for George's arm and looping… — Christina Lauren Copy Share Image
I do an act, and I've been doing an act for 50 years. I do a variety show, which is a musical… — Debbie Reynolds Copy Share Image
“All white people are born with a singular mission in life in order to pass from regular whitehood into ultra-whitehood. Just as… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“So computers are tools of the devil?" thought Newt. He had no problem believing it. Computers had to be the tools of… — Terry Pratchett Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“[the sheep] sidled up beside him and bumped him lovingly with its head. Val looked at it sadly. "I am sorry, you… — Robin McKinley Copy Share Image
I was even in a comedy group for a while. It's so different. It's so completely different. The idea of going to… — Elizabeth Mitchell Copy Share Image
“P...U...D...D...I...N...G" "Pudding," said Roger. "They've kept some for us." "She hasn't finished the word," said Dick. Titty was reading steadily on. "H...E...A...D...S...End… — Arthur Ransome Copy Share Image
“You did a politics project on a government that got overthrown on the due date? Man, did anybody ever tell you you've… — Gordon Korman Copy Share Image
“...she studied his clothes, his top hat. “And you’ve just come from Parliament? How are you finding that?” “It’s much like piracy.… — Meljean Brook Copy Share Image
“I paid the cabman exactly his fare. He received it with an oath; upon which I instantly gave him a tract. If… — Wilkie Collins Copy Share Image
“It was like trying to balance on a pair of knife blades. Who had thought of this mad form of travel in… — Tamora Pierce Copy Share Image
“It was sort of like Macbeth , thought Fat Charlie, an hour later; in fact, if the witches in Macbeth had been… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“There's a lot of humiliation in living, but that's okay, for if the gods are always laughing, then surely at times they… — J. Andrew Schrecker Copy Share Image
“The three species of pine native to Wisconsin (white, red and jack) differ radically in their opinions about marriageable age. The precocious… — Aldo Leopold Copy Share Image
“The report also said I show great potential as an agent. I figure they must be right, since I successfully broke into… — Amy McAuley Copy Share Image
Many, many years ago before I got into comedy, I applied to be a spy for MI5. I got down to the… — Chris McCausland Copy Share Image
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
“Unless you intend to kill him immediately thereafter, never kick a man in the balls. Not even symbolically. Or perhaps especially not… — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
I had my own insecurities, which a lot of my comedy would come from, about not being able to live up to… — Charlie Day Copy Share Image
My first manager, he had left Germany when he was five, but he would joke about the Nazis. And I'd laugh, but… — Michael Keaton Copy Share Image
Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you didn't think were… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
“Miss Elizabeth Mapp might have been forty, and she had taken advantage of this opportunity by being just a year or two… — E.F. Benson Copy Share Image
“All right gentlemen, we have a job to do. At approximately 01:30 tonight, three children made an escape. Our job is to… — Sean Cullen Copy Share Image
“The life of every individual, viewed as a whole and in general, and when only its most significant features are emphasized, is… — Arthur Schopenhauer Copy Share Image
“Cucumbers are technically a fruit and in the same family as pumpkins, melons and squash, so it may benefit those markets, although,… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
“Do not let my expression dampen your good humor,” Talmanes said, tucking his pipe away. “Nor let it bother you that we… — Robert Jordan Copy Share Image
Well Washington DC what are you going to do. They think the capitol steps are the state of the art in comedy.… — Harry Shearer Copy Share Image
It seems a strange thing, but once I was able to get past that kind of self-image problem, I was able to… — Amy Poehler Copy Share Image
Leaps over walls - especially when taken late in life - can be extremely perilous. To leap successfully, you need a sense… — Monica Baldwin Copy Share Image
I'm not sure anybody's ready to see me in a drama. And loving movies so much, I've seen a lot of comics… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“They say that God watches out for children, drunks and fools. Simply put, this means I stand a two-thirds better chance for… — Lenny Castellaneta Copy Share Image
Business, like life, is funny. We all go through difficult times, and we all have to face curve balls and challenges, each… — Ronnie Apteker Copy Share Image
“As the carriage bumped her bones along the dark country lanes, Martha decided that if she ever got back to her own… — Stephen Cole Copy Share Image
I let the comedy come through the character and just try to make sure that everything is kind of rounded in a… — Eugene Levy Copy Share Image
“What sort of person," said Salzella patiently, "sits down and writes a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five?… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“God really must have had a sense of humor, because if I had to name my biggest turn-on, it was literature. And… — Kody Keplinger Copy Share Image
It's good to see so many friends here in the Rose Garden. This is our first event in this beautiful spot, and… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
I was raised by a dad who has a fantastic sense of humor who raised me on 'The Muppet Show,' Steve Martin… — Janet Varney Copy Share Image
“Listen carefully, Lucas Steele, because I will only say this once. I am NOT your mate, I will never be your mate,… — Quinn Loftis Copy Share Image
![“[the sheep] sidled up beside him and bumped him lovingly with its head. Val looked at it sadly. "I am sorry, you ugly creature," he said. "I have not used my magic in a long time, and I am very out of practice.” quote by Robin McKinley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21b/robin-mckinley-1591_humor_the-sheep-sidled-up-beside-him-and-bumpe_182306.png)
