“Dear Me, Talk about getting the wind knocked out of your sails when your best friend tells you you’re turning into a… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare,… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
“I won't say that all senior citizens who can't master technology should be publicly flogged, but if we made an example of… — Chuck Lorre Copy Share Image
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“If you can try to nap where someone's sitting, Although there is another empty chair, Then rub against his ankle without quitting… — Henry N. Beard Copy Share Image
“Today,' Elodin said brightly, 'we will talk about things that cannot be talked about. Specifically, we will discuss why some things cannot… — Patrick Rothfuss Copy Share Image
My mother is from another time - the funniest person to her is Lucille Ball; that's what she loves. A lot of… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Humor is widely used by Indians to deal with life. Indian gatherings are marked by laughter and jokes, many directed at the… — Paula Gunn Allen Copy Share Image
“Surely,' I said, 'you don't think that you are going to die because you dreamed you saw your old father; if one… — H. Rider Haggard Copy Share Image
Laughter brightens the eye, increases the perspiration, expands the chest, forces the poisoned air from the least-used cells, and tends to restore… — Orison Swett Marden Copy Share Image
“It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually… — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
“thats why i'm staying here,"claire said."with you.tonight."shane took in a deep breath."clothes stay on." "mostly,"she agreed. "you know,your parents really are right… — Rachel Caine-Feast of Fools Copy Share Image
I always worry what I would have done if I hadn't found comedy. I think what would I have ended up doing?… — Roisin Conaty Copy Share Image
You need to laugh more. Life is filled with too many problems, to not laugh every day… We need to have a… — Ysabella Brave Copy Share Image
Growing up as a comedian the most influential person on me was Jon Stewart. He showed that comedy could have a real… — Adam Conover Copy Share Image
Obviously, I'm going to be embarrassing to the kid. There's just no way not. I just hope the kid has a really… — GloZell Copy Share Image
There's a certain truism that you can't be self-conscious in comedy. If I'm in it and if there's a scene that has… — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
“Oh, friend John, it is a strange world, a sad world, a world full of miseries, and woes and troubles, and yet… — Bram Stoker Copy Share Image
“ 'Perhaps what Finneas needs, King Rowan, is an occupation. I believe there to be a village nearby in sore need of… — Sara Bell Copy Share Image
“Sit down before you hurt your owies.” “I am a Dark One!” he said, managing to stand upright at last, ignoring the… — Katie MacAlister Copy Share Image
“A lot of people don’t get my humor. My mom calls it dry humor. I think that means “not funny,” but it… — Kasie West Copy Share Image
“He kissed her a little more deeply and was happy to hear her gasp of pleasure. The sound brought his erection back… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
My own opinion is enough for me, and I claim the right to have it defended against any consensus, any majority, anywhere,… — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
“I don't suppose you believe love could last forever." I'd hurt him. I looked away, chagrined. "You're mistaken," I said. "I do… — Julie Berry Copy Share Image
“Tomorrow I'd probably wake up to find my shoes talking to me. And let me tell you, the price I pay for… — Melissa L. Webb Copy Share Image
I used to drink wine. This girl asked me, "Doesn't wine give you a headache?" "Yeah, eventually, but the first and the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“A generous donor (who had no doubt lived a life that imperiled his mortal soul) had granted [the Sisters] more than one… — Kristin Hannah Copy Share Image
Nothing is off-limits. There's just some things I cannot crack. Politics I can't do. When I start to talk about it, I… — Ali Wong Copy Share Image
“PDR: Persons of Dubious Reality; refugees from the collective consciousness. Uninvited visitors who have fallen through the grating that divides the real,… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
Satire, whilst envy and ill-humor sway The mind of man, must always make her way; Nor to a bosom, with discretion fraught,… — Charles Churchill Copy Share Image
“Depending on your own background and life experiences, this may or may not be new to you, but after an eight-to-twelve-hour day,… — Baratunde Thurston Copy Share Image
My favorite comedy is self-effacing, where the person doing the joke is the butt of it. That's always been the stuff I've… — Andy Samberg Copy Share Image
“I’m glad you’re gay,” she said solemnly, “because that way, if I can’t have you, no one can.” “Um, Rocher,” I mentioned,… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
I didn't go up in a comedy club until I was in my late teens, because I didn't know where to get… — Taylor Tomlinson Copy Share Image
“Joan and the Judge had gone to a Sunday brunch with friends. They would be home shortly, in good spirits probably, unless… — Peter Hedges Copy Share Image
When I had the idea for 'Shopaholic', it was as though a light switched on. I realised I actually wanted to write… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
“Our first point of discussion is the hunt. (...) My idea is to start the film with an image of the vixen… — Emma Thompson Copy Share Image
“Humor relieves the tension between what we see or desire but repress in order to sustain a survivable illusion about the world… — Lynda Williams Copy Share Image
“´Well, don´t cry about it, mother,´ said I, for the tears were gushing from her eyes, ´there, let that kiss efface the… — Anne Brontë Copy Share Image