“HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Don't talk to me. Why not? Because I want to fix that in my memory for ever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing… — JK Rowling Copy Share Image
I make sure that my pictures are not too erotic and that they always have a trace of humor. I make sure… — Mel Ramos Copy Share Image
“For a man, he has to learn how to get along without a woman for periods of time. For a woman, she… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
There's nothing more dramatic than the comedy I've done. Because the comedy I've done is to get to the audience, get them… — Jerry Lewis Copy Share Image
“Don’t cry Meg. It’s not that bad.” “It’s not that bad? Ha! I’m thirty years old, with two black eyes, a swollen… — Amy Johnson Copy Share Image
“It took Evrial a moment to catch on—she was too busy wondering where Amaranthe had heard anything, since she was supposedly staying… — Lindsay Buroker Copy Share Image
Don't take life too seriously & always find time to laugh cuz laughter not only add years to your life, but adds… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“For some reason when I type the word "love" in my iPad it keeps autocorrecting to "live". I find it oddly profound.… — Annastacia Dickerson Copy Share Image
“Even those fortunate ones among us who get sex right don’t necessarily feel compelled to talk about it. For all they know,… — Michael Rittenhouse Copy Share Image
I'm very confident that Nick Hornby always gets it right as a writer. He has the vernacular and passion. He is adroit… — Pierce Brosnan Copy Share Image
I make myself a bowl of instant oatmeal, and then I don't do anything for an hour. Why do I need the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“It is worth noting that at this time, I had been doing Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live for two full seasons.… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“His books commingled democratically, united under the all-inclusive flag of Literature. Some were vertical, some horizontal, and some actually placed behind others.… — Anne Fadiman Copy Share Image
“I asked you here today because the police department asked me to assess your mental health." I huffed and rolled my eyes.… — Devon Ashley Copy Share Image
“As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life: ~people applaud you incessantly.… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
“I tried to lighten the mood, and pointed at the house shoes - the last things I'd have expected to see Catcher… — Chloe Neill Copy Share Image
“Republicans: 'we fought the good fight' - yeah, it woulda been worth it if we could have prevented just one poor kid… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“The night in question, I had put aside my perpetual lavatory read, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire , because… — David Mitchell Copy Share Image
“You're right [Joshua], I have taught you nothing. I could teach you nothing. Everything that you needed to know was already there.… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
A sign now of success with a certain audience when you do a short comedy piece, anywhere, is that it gets on… — Andy Samberg Copy Share Image
“Mizzenmast,” bellowed Caldris, and Locke and Jean both fetched up short, breathing heavily. “Ship doesn’t bloody have one,” said Locke. “Just foremast… — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
“Jace rolled his eyes. “It’s fascinating,” he said. “You know all these words, and they’re all English, but when you string them… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I really love writing comedy. Writing romantic comedy is even nicer because you get to write about how insane we all act… — Pearl Cleage Copy Share Image
A clever conjurer is welcome anywhere, and those of us whose powers of entertainment are limited to the setting of booby-traps or… — A. A. Milne Copy Share Image
The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers. The people don't acknowledge this. They claim membership in… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“After you are here, I will try not to become one of those parents who brag incessantly about their children, who force… — Suzanne Finnamore Copy Share Image
“Perfect,” he groaned. “You are perfect.” He sank his teeth into her ass, hard, drawing blood. “And now you wear my mark,”… — Hanna Lui Copy Share Image
~I use humor instead of getting into that whole yes and no thing all the time. It's about just getting them to… — Marcia Cross Copy Share Image
I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
“You have the most infernal habit when anyone says the simplest thing to you, of letting your lower jaw drop and looking… — PG Wodehouse Copy Share Image
My dad's sense of humor was direct and sometimes surreal - his quick wit is well known amongst our family and friends.… — Tony Visconti Copy Share Image
The stuff that's going on is just so over-the-top, with the banking crisis and destroying the Gulf of Mexico, and the outrage… — Adam McKay Copy Share Image
“Sorry. Bad joke. I didn't know things were serious between you." "I never said they were serious." Phillip laughed, then winced as… — Nora Roberts Copy Share Image
“So, anyway." Jackal's impatient voice broke through our cold standoff. "Not to interrupt this riveting family drama, but are we going to… — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
Opening your cabinet, seeing there's no snacks! Opening Refrigerator nothing there either Then right after that, you go back to the cabinet… — Hugo Campos Copy Share Image
"Black culture" is ready for whatever. I sense some momentum and excitement around black artists (especially in comedy, which is where most… — Baratunde Thurston Copy Share Image
“Once I understood what was making America such a dangerous, unhappy nation of people who had nothing to do with real life,… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
That would be cool if the earth's crust was made out of graham cracker. It would disappear just like the ozone layer,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
![“You're right [Joshua], I have taught you nothing. I could teach you nothing. Everything that you needed to know was already there. You simply needed the word for it. Some need Kali and Shiva to destroy the world so they may see past the illusion to divinity in them, others need Krishna to drive…” quote by Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/690/christopher-moore-353_buddhism_you-re-right-joshua-i-have-taught-you-no_314308.jpg)
