I would say just start writing. You've got to write every day. Copy someone that you like if you think that perhaps… — Elmore Leonard Copy Share Image
“My dad mumbled something unintelligible. "Woo!" Emmett suddenly boomed in his deep bass. "Go Gators!" Jacob and Charlie jumped. The rest of… — Stephenie Meyer Copy Share Image
“Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
British people have a really sophisticated sense of humour, because we're exposed to much more than Europeans and Americans, not least in… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
Groundhog Day was pretty clean. It may have to do with some puritanical feeling that comedy is a forbidden pleasure in a… — Harold Ramis Copy Share Image
“The white man comes, pale as the dawn, with a load of thought, with a slumbering intelligence as a fire raked up,… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
“The one undeniable benefit of having spent some time in the closet is that it nurtures a talent that you can fall… — Bob Smith Copy Share Image
“Mr Cjelli, nice to see you back, sir. Sorry you had a spot of bother, hope that's all behind you now." "Indeed,… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
A sense of humour keen enough to show a man his own absurdities as well as those of other people will keep… — Samuel Butler Copy Share Image
“FORGET you? How could I EVER forget you? Sure, I only remember the last nine minutes, but I know a BESTEST friend… — Guy Bass Copy Share Image
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
“Really! But weren't you fearfully tempted?' 'In the abstract but not in the concrete,' said Ursula. 'When it comes to the point,… — D.H. Lawrence Copy Share Image
“Why it didn't occur to any of us that a well-known suicide spot would be like Piccadilly Circus on New Year's Eve.… — Nick Hornby Copy Share Image
I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humour rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story… — Steven Moffat Copy Share Image
“Where are you from?" She asked without thinking. "I was born in the mountains." Runach said with a shrug. "The place doesn't… — Lynn Kurland Copy Share Image
“Or you can fake your own death," Bill suggested. "Because really, that's the most cathartic resolution—if all your friends and family think… — Jordan Castillo Price Copy Share Image
“Well, good Christ, how was I supposed to know all that, Hannah? Who looks into the fine points when he's hungry? I'm… — Philip Roth Copy Share Image
“We passed through glowering statues of monsters and gods whom I'd fought in person- the vulture Nekhbet, who'd once possessed my Gran… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“If you drive down there," I said, "he'll just escape the other way. That's what he's counting on. You have to walk… — Jennifer Echols Copy Share Image
“Mission motto, sir," said Carrot cheerfully. "Morituri Nolumus Mori. Rincewind suggested it." "I imagine he did," said Lord Vetinari, observing the wizard… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It just seems to me that there's no particular reason comedy albums should be dead. There's a lot to laugh at. We… — Eric Idle Copy Share Image
“There was no sense to life, to the structure of things. D.H. Lawrence had known that. You needed love, but not the… — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
You can be good at comedy, which means you'll be given spots, but beyond that it is luck that pushes you to… — Romesh Ranganathan Copy Share Image
I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“Eros mumbled something. "I'm sorry?" said Aphrodite. "Whatwouldjesusdo." "What would Jesus do?" said Aphrodite. "Let me tell you something. Jesus was a… — Marie Phillips Copy Share Image
“Ha ha ha ha! Tee-hee-hee! Mwa-ha mwa-ha! Kee kee kee! Ho ho ho ho! Haw-hee-haw! Heh heh heh heh! Gah guffaw! Hoo… — Richelle E. Goodrich Copy Share Image
There is no doubt I have offended many people. No doubt, also, that I have blasphemed. I sometimes try to offend as… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I grew up in a pretty strict household in the sense that we just didn't have cable, so I wasn't familiar with… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
You know, dramas are much more expensive to do than say a comedy, so any kind of deficit like that is picked… — Paul Guilfoyle Copy Share Image
“One of my professors once told me that the last official act of the British monarchy was when Queen Victoria refused to… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
“Oh, you mean like Orpheo rescuing Euniphon from the Underworld?” said Roland. Rob Anybody just stared. “It’s a myth from Ephebe,” Roland… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Any man in the company of two woman is outnumbered four to one however amiable they may be. By definition." 'So when… — Kingsley Amis Copy Share Image
Every podcast network has a different culture as far as I can tell. How they run things at Nerdist is totally different… — Baron Vaughn Copy Share Image
“But there was another class of people, the real people. To this class they all belonged, and in it the great thing… — Leo Tolstoy Copy Share Image
It's a lovely moment when everyone's part of something greater than the sum of its parts. That encapsulates what a comedy gig… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“How was practice?" Shawna asked when Jet walked into the kitchen. "You must've worked hard again, you smell like a wet puppy."… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
“Imagine what I could have done in ten years. I could have learned to speak Japanese. I could have played every RPG… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
“Beer makes all jokes funny. Beer makes ugly and fat women attractive, which is something ugly women can't do for themselves, because… — Dick Masterson Copy Share Image
