Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash,… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
“The poorly sophisticated, since many of us are, as presumed to be, lacking in good arguments, we are then prone to being… — Criss Jami Copy Share Image
“If you show up late [for anger management], you don't get credit for the class, which made that car ride even more… — Tommy Lee Copy Share Image
Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests,… — Ice Cube Copy Share Image
“Ochoa pulled the door and held it open for her. Nikki pivoted around the jamb, squaring her aim up the hall. She… — Richard Castle Copy Share Image
“But any idiot can see you two are gaga for one another.” As in Lady Gaga? Because I do enjoy riding Wade’s… — Ethan Day Copy Share Image
When you watch a comedy special, you see the glitz and glamour. But what you don't see is when it doesn't work… — Deon Cole Copy Share Image
“I have been cheated. The file had a few pieces of worthless information about me and some of my performance reviews (which… — Emily Harper Copy Share Image
Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause… — John Wayne Copy Share Image
There is nothing more electric than watching a live performance, especially something like improv, comedy, or music - where no two shows… — Randi Zuckerberg Copy Share Image
“I'm about to fuck up, he thought clearly, and his next thought was, but I don't have to. This was followed closely… — Richard Russo Copy Share Image
“There was a great joke that was forever doing the rounds in the jail and it was probably funny not because it… — H.M. Forester Copy Share Image
Humanity needs more than merely information. We express original ideas, humor, and our personal wills. We express passions and emotions. A person's… — Hideo Kojima Copy Share Image
“To the champ, everything is serious business. I'm hoping that he'll live long enough to learn that in this world that is… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“I sat in the passenger seat of the squad car, laughing at the look on Noah’s face. “She tried man, she did.… — C.A. Harms Copy Share Image
“Maxwell Arbus was the reason Saul lost an eye?" "Yes," Millie answers stiffly. "But that was a long time ago. Saul has… — Andrea Cremer Copy Share Image
I'd love for my ambition and will and intellect and sense of humour to define me as well. I'm definitely responsible for… — Eva Mendes Copy Share Image
“I am Prince Horace!" "And I'm the Grand Turnip of China!" cutwater snickered. "Dim-witted villains!" shouted the Prince. "I command you to… — Sid Fleischman Copy Share Image
For health and the constant enjoyment of life, give me a keen and ever present sense of humor; it is the next… — George Barrell Cheever Copy Share Image
“Could you bring me to Rita’s house before we go to the airport?” I ask. “There’s one last thing I need to… — L.H. Cosway Copy Share Image
“[ When asked what he wants for his tombstone epitaph ] Since I'm an atheist, and have no belief whatsoever in life… — Richard Bartle Copy Share Image
“Just then the Mustang made a loud clanking noise and started to vibrate. Hastily shoving his coffee in the drink holder, Alex… — L. A. Weatherly Copy Share Image
“I’d had a key to the marina’s locks at one time, but I’d lost track of it when I got shot, drowned,… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
All we do is watch The Wire and go out to dinner with our friends. I wish I could tell you that… — Amy Poehler Copy Share Image
“I couldn’t take it. Not now. I could be Barrack Obama and my mother would persist in treating me like a baby… — S. A. David Copy Share Image
“All in all, the lunch date was fine. Like an opened can of soda in its second hour. If you were thirsty,… — Heather Dugan Copy Share Image
Comedy is grievances. It's a recitation of grievances - whether they're inconsequential, superficial - like "my wife shops too much", or "kids… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I'll create more comedy. It's just when I shut off and stay… — Ron White Copy Share Image
“They had me next to some horrible couple in matching Hawaiian shirts. There's no reason to suffer this flight alone when we… — Stephanie Perkins Copy Share Image
“A company could use bricks to measure their growth rate. How many bricks have angry investors thrown at you lately? If the… — Amy Riekhof Copy Share Image
“It is the way in which the Dark returns, Harrier. I will explain, if you like." "Oh, no," Harrier said. "I'd much… — Mercedes Lackey Copy Share Image
“I'm seven hundred years old, Alexander. I know when something isn't going to work. You won't even admit I exist to your… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“They forgot to feed them for a few days and, when they remembered, both lions lay limp in their cage, as if… — Wilkie Martin Copy Share Image
“All right," she said in a low, determined voice. 'I'll go along with this. But you are not, under any circumstances, to… — Susan Elizabeth Phillips Copy Share Image
“We still can't see you!" groaned Alice. "How do we fix that?" asked Melanie. "I don't know...think visible thoughts," said Colleen. "Think… — Katie Mattie Copy Share Image
“The hell is wrong with you? Did someone walk around hitting you every time you made sense when you were a kid?… — Seanan MacGuire Copy Share Image
Comedy is still alive, and there are still funny people. Jews are still overrepresented in comedy and psychiatry and underrepresented in the… — Robert Klein Copy Share Image
“Scientists say that the twenty percent must go somewhere because of something to do with something called “thermodynamic laws,” but police officials… — Joseph Fink Copy Share Image
“But trying to use willpower to overcome the apathetic sort of sadness that accompanies depression is like a person with no arms… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“An ordinary man can enjoy breakfasting on juice and rye bread. But when you are underfed, scorned, miserable or just plain bored,… — R.S. Vern Copy Share Image
![“If you show up late [for anger management], you don't get credit for the class, which made that car ride even more of a test of your temper. Being late was great-you could leave if you wanted to, but that wasn't going to help you at all. I was late a few times and I always stayed, hoping to get…” quote by Tommy Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/382/tommy-lee-3389_anger-management_if-you-show-up-late-for-anger-management_414567.jpg)
![“[ When asked what he wants for his tombstone epitaph ] Since I'm an atheist, and have no belief whatsoever in life after death, I couldn't care less -- it's not like it'll have any impact on me, since by definition I will be completely extinguished. I guess if someone twisted my arm and forced me…” quote by Richard Bartle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d1/richard-bartle-129409_afterlife_when-asked-what-he-wants-for-his-tombsto_1202035.jpg)
