“Sir, come quick. They've found a body in the canal." I blew out my breath. Saved by the corpse. ...The corpse in… — Lisa Shearin Copy Share Image
“Norway...looked to Roosevelt "as funny a kingdom as was ever imagined outside of opera bouffe…It is much as if Vermont should offhand… — Edmund Morris Copy Share Image
I only knew her for 2 months, the girl is 4 months pregnant, and she is saying she carrying my child, I… — Glen Rambharack Copy Share Image
Genuinely great humour recognises the world it's describing and yet we are also called into question by it. That's what great art… — Simon Critchley Copy Share Image
“I look ridiculous and stupid. As I check myself in the bathroom mirror, I want to back out. I'm wearing a skintight… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
“There’s a short circuit between my brain and my tongue, thus “Leave me the fuck alone” comes out as “Well, maybe. Sure.… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“He rolled his eyes. Why was he surprised about anything having to do with her? Of course she'd be able to lift… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
“It's funny how you think you've said something when you never really did. It's also funny how you can think you've heard… — Kiera Cass Copy Share Image
To me, the script is a living, breathing organism. Comedy is something that is ever-changing and ever-flowing with the vibe and the… — Todd Phillips Copy Share Image
We are really living the American dream, to be a successful brand in the States and in Europe and to steep ourselves… — Tommy Hilfiger Copy Share Image
“How do you plan to scare people tonight?" asked a hollow-voiced spector. "I'll wait until they sit down to supper, then scream… — E.D. Baker Copy Share Image
“I closed my eyes and prayed for divine intervention. I waited a beat and nothing happened. Guess God was busy with war… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“Stop," Kincaid said in a calm voice. "Unclench." "Unclench what?" Murphy demanded. "Unclench your ass." " Excuse me?" "You're going to trip… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
There is a certain comedy and pathos to trouble and accidents. Like when a driver has parked his car crookedly and then… — John Prine Copy Share Image
“Lessons can be learned from each and every movie in the series. Like take this lasting and most important lesson from Return… — Olivia Munn Copy Share Image
“It means that you two, precious father and son, would be a pair of knaves if you had sense enough; but, failing… — E.D.E.N. Southworth Copy Share Image
“But I have known many women--many women indeed, and it is in their nature to confound us, Othello. They are all by… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“If I could get hold of something nasty and drop it in the coffee urn, I could poison them all." "Too bad… — Jesse Hajicek Copy Share Image
“Daddy just repeated the word, internship . As an alibi, it was a thing of beauty: its overtones of responsibility, of upward… — Garth Risk Hallberg Copy Share Image
Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had… — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
I used to do stand-up, actually. I had a ten-minute routine I did for a thing called 'Stand Up for Labour' where… — Sadiq Khan Copy Share Image
Not by any means do I think that I'm The Rock or Mark Wahlberg. I understand that I'm not like them, being… — Big Show Copy Share Image
I think it's great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“For as long as wimmin have had the temerity to experience feelings of anger, sadness, frustration, and deep resentment, patriarchal society has… — Elisa Albert Copy Share Image
“Just... resting eyes. Heal me tomorrow. If I'm not..." Belen slaps her awake again. "I hate you," she says. "Yes," he agrees… — Rae Carson Copy Share Image
From the air, Vatican City looked like a marble Monopoly set. The Church owned all the property from Broadwalk to Illinois Avenue,… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“He'd been crazy about her for more years than he cared to admit. Unfortunately, he knew nothing would ever come of it,… — Michael McBride Copy Share Image
“Uh, puedo hablar con Andrew Nelson, por favor?" I asked, feeling like an idiot. "Quien?" "El americano," I explained. "Muy grande americano."… — Kate Klise Copy Share Image
I think there's just too much comedy. Sometimes I get requests from people: 'How do I get into comedy?' And I always… — Marshall Brickman Copy Share Image
“Okay.” Nate took a deep breath. “Now that we’re all caught up on the new no-no’s of the house, what do you… — Chelsea Fine Copy Share Image
To me, being brave is an element that is so important with stand-up comedy. It's not essential. There are many comics who… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“She sighed, knowing she couldn't push it any further. "Thank you for being so... merciful," Allie said. "But I would appreciate it… — Neal Shusterman Copy Share Image
“Michael shook his head. "So what's on your good list?" Oh you know. Hero stuff that gets me rerun on CNN. Like,… — Shane Collins Copy Share Image
With comedy, the jokes will come out, and people will see them coming. Changes in daily life or current events can change… — Robert Lopez Copy Share Image
“You know, you spend your childhood watching TV, assuming that at some point in the future everything you see will one day… — Paul Murray Copy Share Image
There used to be such a thing as a sick joke, or laughing at misfortune, because comedy and laughter are a way… — Limmy Copy Share Image
“Beds empty! No note! Car gone — could have crashed — out of my mind with worry — did you care? —… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“And if we know how to light a fire, why do we carry tinder around with us?" Because you're humans," the little… — Silvana de Mari Copy Share Image
“Republicans approve of the American farmer, but they are willing to help him go broke. They stand four-square for the American home--but… — Harry S. Truman Copy Share Image
“Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
