Humor Quotes · Page 361

“Err, sorry Father Abbot. I tripped y'see. Trod on my Abbot, Father Habit. Oh dear, I mean…”

— Brian Jacques

I love doing comedy. Absolutely love it. After 'Wedding Crashers,' people suddenly realized that it was something I could do.

— Jane Seymour

“...There's an -or- in -whore- because you always have a choice to respect your body and say no.”

— Libba Bray

Even celebrities, most people have a sense of humor. Most of the people we meet who we've done on the show, like…

— Matt Stone

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

— Dick Clark

I started doing improv comedy in 2007, and I think it was that that gave me the confidence to try doing stand-up!

— Rachel Parris

We're so insecure, comedians. 'Did you laugh? Do you think I was funny?'

— Julian Barratt

A comedy that is ironic, sometimes bitter, in some cases even dramatic, tragic: This is what Italian comedy is.

— Mario Monicelli

“Birdwatching, at first glance, seems like a pursuit designed specifically for people who find stamp collecting too stimulating. But oh, how wrong…

— Natalie Kyriacou

One second here and there will make all the difference between something being funny and not being funny. That's why I like…

— Jonathan Krisel

“Around eighth grade Margot started getting really sensitive about her weight, even though she wasn’t remotely fat—just a little round-faced. So Margot…

— Isobel Irons

“As she led them out onto the mud, Dovepaw glanced back to see Thornclaw pull a long stick out from under the…

— Erin Hunter

“Once the others were below, Hazel and Leo faced each other awkwardly. They were alone except for Coach Hedge, who was back…

— Rick Riordan

We're all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn't let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or…

— Tina Fey

What I find funny are peoples' blind spots. That's the funniest thing about anybody - when they just don't realize who they…

— Sam Richardson

“A good communist,” the man had said, “does not let go of the plough halfway across the paddy and leave the buffalo…

— Colin Cotterill

“Luck was a joke. Even good luck was just bad luck with its hair combed.”

— Stephen King

“I know the drill, Clark. But I'll be gone for four years. Will you just hold me tonight? Just spooning, no forking.”

— Cardeno C

Although Kurt Vonnegut may not be considered a humor writer, 'Breakfast of Champions' is one of the funniest books I've ever read.

— Justin Halpern

Dear Facebook, Just wait, one day they'll abandon you as well. Sincerely, Myspace

— Anonymous

“Of all the forces in the universe, the hardest to overcome is the force of habit.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Ell?" Kate asked. "You okay?" "Yeah, I thought I saw a spider." I shook my fist at Will and scowled. "A big,…

— Courtney Allison Moulton

“Why can't I just Google it like everything else?! I hate you public library system!”

— Vera Brosgol

“Intention to pray is even more powerful than physical prayer - but it's good to do both.”

— Art Hochberg

“My need to parent is so much bigger, sometimes, than my children’s need for parenting.”

— Margot Page

“First people lose their hair, then their vices, then their motivation. Then a toupee brings it all flowing back.”

— Bauvard

I think I gravitate towards people who express themselves in a simple and funny way.

— John Slattery

“Is a joke truly funny when we laugh at it, or is it merely some aberration of our frontal lobe?”

— Gerald Schroeder

“That's your mom, right?" Pathik smiled. "She looks nicer than she did when she was dragging you away the other night.”

— Teri Hall

When I was younger, I loved people like Beryl Reid and Irene Handl - really strong actresses who could also do comedy.

— Rebecca Front

“Writer's block' is just a fancy way of saying 'I don't feel like doing any work today.”

— Meagan Spooner

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

— Demetri Martin

“Nothing closes doors as quickly as constant bad humor, reclamation, whining. Nobody wants to associate themselves with losers.”

— Bangambiki Habyarimana

There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it.

— George W. Bush

I can't believe in humorless women. I think there's humor even in everyday tragedy.

— Jean Marsh

Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.

— Bill Bailey

I believe everything my psychiatrist tells me it saves me so much thinking on my own.

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

“When you exclude anything that is improbable, whatever is left, is not as hilarious.”

— Oleg Medvedkov

My father, Leo Henry Brown, really was talented - he could write. He had a gift, and he had a great, sly…

— Angie Dickinson

“You men deserve whatever rabbit-boiling scenario dating crazy women gets you.”

— Rachel Hollis