A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
People say that beauty is on the inside, but I would prefer a pretty face over a pretty kidney. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
“Ma didn't think puns were funny but couldn't help laughing at the naughty look Pa gave her when he made one.” — Laura Ingalls Wilder Copy Share Image
“Besides, when did you become an expert on men, miss hide-herself-away-in-the-study?” — Sarah Jane Avory Copy Share Image
“I never understood a lot of things less complicated than why people put up with each other." -- Songs From Richmond Avenue” — Michael Reed Copy Share Image
If there is a god, I think he has a sense of humour. He does not require human beings to protect him… — James K. Morrow Copy Share Image
“you're a fairy? sure, Tinker bell. pull the other leg while your at it." "you see? that's the problem with mortals. we… — Christine Warren Copy Share Image
I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Fucking morning people, they just don’t understand what it a chore it is for us normal people to not want to leave… — Katelin LaMontagne Copy Share Image
“Are you thinking about tomorrow? There really is no tomorrow – not today. Everything exists within the right now and if there… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“But from the start I had withheld from him any information about the giant redwoods. It seemed to me that a Long… — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
“There’s lots of people will help you with alcohol business, but there’s no one out there arranging little meetings where you can… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Tessa exploded "I am not asking you to maul me in the Whispering Gallery! By the Angel, Will, would you stop being… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“So let me get this straight,” she made finger quotes in the air, “Doctor Jeffery Scott is looking for a butt ugly… — Dee Burks Copy Share Image
I didn't set out to write some female-empowering movie; I just wanted to write a funny college comedy. — Kay Cannon Copy Share Image
TheBiggestLies Classmate: Do you have any gum? ; Me: Nah man, I got it from someone else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we… — Vanessa Bayer Copy Share Image
It upsets me where you do a take and people go 'that's so funny,' and you think 'I was being serious.' — Tom Bateman Copy Share Image
“Are you sure you weren't adopted?" "Mom would like to think so, but it was a natural birth, so her memory's real… — Jana Deleon Copy Share Image
“Evil influence is like a nicotine patch, you cannot help but absorb what sticks to you.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Wiping the rivulet of sweat running down my ear with the bottom of my muscle shirt, I snuck a sniff under my… — Julie Anne Peters Copy Share Image
“He's not a total idiot. In fact, he has a good head on his shoulders. He thinks like a woman, most of… — Robert Jordan Copy Share Image
“I could feel parts of my body that had never sweated before break out in nervous droplets.” — Sarah Jamila Stevenson Copy Share Image
“laughter and a sense of humor as a universal index of spiritual development.” — Dalai Lama XIV Copy Share Image
“Do you think city hall would take battling dragons as a excuse to waive a fine?” — Sharon Ashwood Copy Share Image
“But she had, as I have told you, the glimmerings of a sense of humor—which is simply another name for a sense… — L.M. Montgomery Copy Share Image
“Most poor people do not really aspire to end poverty; they merely aspire to escape it.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Privilege: the belief that because a dog has been carefully trained not to bite YOUR ass, that is has no teeth.” — Arinn Dembo Copy Share Image
“Happiness is a tricky business. It may not have as much to do with doing as it has to do with not… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Blood and I have an unspoken agreement. It stays inside the body, and I don’t throw up. Once it escapes, the agreement… — Nicolette Pierce Copy Share Image
You have antiheroes in dramas, like Tony Soprano. But it's a little bit harder in comedy. You don't see it quite as… — Christopher Miller Copy Share Image
Being funny was something I was doing before I understood what that even was. Now I'm making a career out of it. — Kayvan Novak Copy Share Image
“Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine. — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
“The funny thing about the heart is a soft heart is a strong heart, and a hard heart is a weak heart.” — Criss Jami Copy Share Image
“Baby girl, five minutes alone with me and you're gonna be begging me to taste your pie.” — Carmen Jenner Copy Share Image
“There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in what they find to laugh at.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Copy Share Image
Comedy or villain, the role does not matter as long as it is challenging. — Paresh Rawal Copy Share Image
