Humor Quotes · Page 33

Real men respect women.

— prince simus

“My first puppy's name was Purple.”

— Tracey Ward

“Chuck it in the fuckit bucket”

— Nadine Dalton

“But the Solor System!”

— Conan Doryle

I like comedies in general.

— Alexandra Daddario

“What happened to your tan.”

— James Patterson

“Your sweat is your fat crying !”

— Georgia Finn

Hookers don't like to snuggle.

— Zach Galifianakis

Confound these ancestors... They've stolen our best ideas!

— Ben Jonson

Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse.

— William Gilbert

I think the best comedy comes from stuff that's based in reality.

— Pauly Shore

“Your clear conscience is due to a poor memory.”

— Anonymous

I think Ive got a pretty good sense of humor.

— PJ Harvey

“Always keep your mouth closed when cleaning the toilet.”

— Richard J Bell

Never ask an elf for help; they might decide your better off dead, eh

— Anonymous

Ha ha funny right like if it is funny or send me a message

— Maeve Garrison

“Tanaquil gently toed the peeve. "I'll unfasten the window. Jump out to the lower roof and run." "Stay and bite," said the…

— Tanith Lee

“Tequila often gave people the desire to tackle the impossible. It did not, however, make impossible possible”

— Darynda Jones

“Soy cappuccino,’ I growled, while doing as instructed. ‘I should have known you were evil.”

— Maria Lewis

Comedy deflates the sense precisely so that the underlying lubricity and malice may bubble to the surface.

— Paul Goodman

“Nancy was so thrilled, I thought she was going to kiss me—and I thought I was actually going to have to hit…

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

With song titles, I try to keep a healthy sense of humor while saying something at the same time.

— Arca

It's not so hard to get rich as it is to know when you have gotten rich.

— Josh Billings

“The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready; it goes on because it’s 11:30.”

— Lorne Michaels

You get into comedy because you are insecure, and you communicate with the world through comedy to sort of alleviate the tension…

— Andy Samberg

I saw a door that said exit only. So I entered through it and went up to the guy working there and…

— Demetri Martin

The best way to get rid of the Devil, if you cannot kill it with the words of Holy Scripture, is to…

— Martin Luther

I want to keep doing interesting work with interesting people in whatever form that may take, but I want to play the…

— Gwilym Lee

I would love to do a dramatic comedy. All of that, it all interests me. At some point I want to do…

— Eliza Coupe

“Five sisters. That must have been hell." "Only when they forced me to dress up like a girl and play Amy whenever…

— Amy McAuley

“Cam starts laughing, "Oh, I love it when she reads." He turns to Lucy who's face is starting to contort and turn…

— Jay McLean

“...killing Dirk, killing anybody, was not going to change anything apart from Francisco's f***ing ego, which was already large enough to house…

— Hugh Laurie

“Your mother dresses you funny!”

— Tony Rattigan

[holds up a screw] wanna screw?

— Michael Country

It [humor] inhabits the marginal.

— Penelope Gilliatt

Humor is a part of spirituality.

— Zooey Deschanel

“Men are men, mortal or not.”

— KC Randall

I'd like to do a bit of comedy.

— Stephen Hunter

My dad's a funny guy.

— Lonzo Ball

I like black comedy.

— Lily Gladstone