Humor Quotes · Page 162

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

— Steven Wright

“In the middle of all the ordinary--something extraordinary shows up.”

— KariAnne Wood

You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.

— Zach Galifianakis

I'm a laugher and a lover of comedy.

— Brett Ratner

For me, I think humour is something important.

— Parineeti Chopra

I'd love to do situation comedy - it's the best job in show business.

— Patti LuPone

“I'd rather be a nodding acquaintance, than a bobble head”

— Josh Stern

I have always loved both drama and comedy.

— Molly Shannon

“My favorite text message: "I'll be there in 5 minutes...if not, read this again.”

— Anonymous Authors

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

— Adam Carolla

Humour plays a vital part in any 'Bhavai' performance and is seen in plays.

— Pratik Gandhi

Especially the transcendental philosophy needs the leaven of humor to render it light and digestible.

— Henry David Thoreau

“That man has some seriously oversized ovaries. Can you say PMS? He barked at anyone and everyone before shoving his way outside.”

— H.M. Ward

“If man had more of a sense of humour, things might have turned out differently.”

— Stanisław Lem

Almost anything can be funny if said the right way - but it has to be said the right way.

— Kevin Hart

“I mean. You put puppies in a store front, I will stop and giddily stare. Every. Single. Time.”

— Christy Hall

Everyone has their personal topics. My comedy has always been very strong on observational humor, it stems from what I see every…

— Iliza Shlesinger

What happened was, in my final year of university in Australia, there was a campus comedy competition, and I felt like it…

— Ronny Chieng

“Can you meet me?" "Sure I can. What else are friends for but swooping in to the rescue when their girlfriends are…

— Frankie Rose

“First, you start carrying a man satchel. Next thing you know, you're running around in a bathrobe and pink bunny slippers, chasing…

— Rick Riordan

“In the meantime, Bob was jumping up and down and pronouncing it was all "good good good," so good that he couldn't…

— Meg Rosoff

“Did you want to change into something more comfortable?” Adrian asks with a raise in his eyebrows, breaking me out of my…

— Lilly Avalon

“A world where no child need cry because you didn’t buy him that ring pop at checkout, even though you know that…

— Benjamin Wallace

“So,' I said, partly to Magda, partly to myself, 'Rema left Argentina with this An-a-to-le person.' I adopted the four-syllable pronunciation with…

— Rivka Galchen

In comedy it helps if there's a friendly atmosphere on the set.

— Chris O'Dowd

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

— Emo Philips

The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.

— Jim Norton

There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.

— Jim Norton

“Silas consumed only one food, and it was not bananas.”

— Neil Gaiman

“Ouch! I feel bitch slapped-- Matt Carter”

— Natasha Larry

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

— Steven Wright

It is no wonder lesbians love women.

— Gilbert Sorrentino

“Life is a free circus. All you have to do is pay attention.”

— Bill Copeland

Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you.

— Jerry Coleman

“One wrong step and my life would change drastically.”

— Ranjani Ramachandran

Comedy should always evolve; it's so easy to punch down.

— Lolly Adefope

“When your dreams turn into a nightmare, it’s time to wake up.”

— Rachelle Ayala

If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.

— Betty White

In the darkest of times, laughter helps revolutionize our perspective.

— Phil Callaway

I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?

— Pearl Jam