Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. — David Walton Copy Share Image
I played the guitar in ninth grade. My sister's friend went on a semester abroad, and she left the guitar at our house for nine months. — David Walton Copy Share Image
If you will excuse me, your coat lapels are badly twisted downward, where they have been grasped by the pertinacious New York reporters. — David Walton Copy Share Image
With a lot of comedies, the characters go on a journey, and they come back, and they're the exact same people. — David Walton Copy Share Image
I'd play the same character for ten years if the words and the moments that I'm playing are authentic. — David Walton Copy Share Image
“The universe is a quantum computer. Since you can simulate any set of particle interactions with a quantum computer made of the same number… — David Walton Copy Share Image
I have straight married friends that other friends think are gay, and I have gay friends who don't throw that vibe at all. I… — David Walton Copy Share Image
To be perfectly honest, I've gotten attention from gay men for a long time. — David Walton Copy Share Image
A lot of people talk to kids like they're idiots. When I'm telling my two-year-old that you don't throw a dish on the floor,… — David Walton Copy Share Image
