*A nerdy guys phone goes off* Jock: Who was that, your girlfriend? *Everyone laughs* Nerd: Nope. It was yours. *Dead silence* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday and 4% Friday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, Where the hell did that shirt go? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My opinions are like farts; So hard to hold em in, and when one slips everyones gonna know it and at least… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girl: ugh my throat really hurts. Boy: I bet your knees do too. Her: What? Boy: What? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If mini skirts today get any shorter... women will have two more lips to paint, two more cheeks to powder, and a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes, when I feel like nobody understands me, it helps to think of you! Nobody understands you either. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know its love when you want to keep holding hands even after youre sweaty. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! OMG! I can't even... xD :D They think of everything! LOL — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How in the world are you ever going to meet the person you love if you dont love going out in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny how some people are nice to my face. It's hilarious how some people talk crap behind my back. It's comical… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
