Mothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their virtues set to prose,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I have finally mastered what to do with the second tennis ball. Having small hands, I was becoming terribly self-conscious about keeping… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I read one psychologist's theory that said, "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
