The great thing about comedy is that the longer you've been alive, the more you have to talk about and the better you get. I've got some miles and some road savviness that some other guys don't have. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day,… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I do think that you can dress yourself out of a problem. The way that a haircut and a new pair of pants can… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first.… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
