Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Satan had been making admiring remarks about certain of the Creator's sparkling industries -- remarks which, being read between the lines, were… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“A God who could make good children as easily a bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“After a long time and many questions, Satan said, "The spider kills the fly, and eats it; the bird kills the spider… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father; He is always longing for the love of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Church worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“If I were to construct a God I would furnish Him with some way and qualities and characteristics which the Present lacks.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel;… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
God pours out love upon all with a lavish hand -- but He reserves vengeance for His very own. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular one is Providence. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
