“This year, Rebecca instituted a White Elephant gift exchange, that passive-aggressive method of conveying just how little the people you see more often than family mean to you via the splendor of craptastic gifting.” — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“Let us observe the mating rituals of the lecherous North American lounge lizard in his native habitat: The Open Bar.” — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“REBECCA IS AN IMMORTAL. I know this because I have been giving her a look that can kill for the past three and a… — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“Say who with the what now? Well, Merry Christmas and Ho Ho Holy Crap. Just what the hell have I been yammering on about?” — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“I will have you know there is probably less pineapple at your average luau than in my system at this moment” — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“Incoming Text: Bert will be so disappointed. He had down that Canon would eat you alive by last night. Note to self: Never bet… — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“IT IS A FACT, UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED, that a single man in possession of a fine ass must be observed like wildlife” — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“We have been going over the proposal and possible concessions for the longest ninety minutes of my life. And I saw Battlefield Earth.” — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“How am I supposed to look unaffected and asexual with all this unfair fuckery happening?” — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“I do wish there were assless chaps. Not that I would wear them. But there is nothing funnier than the words assless chaps.” — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“These are dark times. Darker still if we must forego the snooze button.” — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“God, I'm not just in the neighbourhood of pathetic, I'm circling the block.” — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
“WHY IS MY BATH COLD? Because I, purchaser of sadist shoes, needed to soak after wearing cheese graters on my feet yesterday and then… — Qwen Salsbury Copy Share Image
