“The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready; it goes on because it’s 11:30.” — Lorne Michaels Copy Share Image
“There is something funny about the human condition, and civilized intelligence makes fun of its own ideas.” — Saul Bellow Herzog Copy Share Image
I hope my complaints about the weather have made the weather seem comparatively less annoying. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn't have the personality of an accountant. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're an aspiring show maker, and you have the means to sit around for a few months, you should be making… — Pendleton Ward Copy Share Image
Things were different when I was single though, and I'd go out all the time and dudes would do their thing. i… — Ashley Scott Copy Share Image
The shortest period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival… — Jane Bryant Quinn Copy Share Image
I put my parents through mini hell with my laziness and poor grades, so I love making them laugh when they see… — Kayvan Novak Copy Share Image
To forget you is hard to do and to forget me is up to you. Forget me not, forget me never. Forget… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Podcasts feature comedians being as funny as they can be in a non-censored situation. It's really akin to standup in a way.… — Scott Aukerman Copy Share Image
I knew I could rap a little bit, which is not the most unique way for being funny. The more I did… — Lil Dicky Copy Share Image
I don't care what anybody says, I think that George Bush is absolutely the right president to oversea the end of the… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
