“Abandoned babies are unfortunate unwanted results of a once urgent desire to have an orgasm” — David Cross Copy Share Image
Perish any man who suspects that these men either did or suffered anything unseemly. — Philip II of Macedon Copy Share Image
Don't forget to tell everyone how you hate Mondays, because we were all wondering how you feel about them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Most power is power to coerce somebody. We don't have the power to coerce anybody. — Charles Koch Copy Share Image
Anyone here a fan of The Little Mix? OR. is anyone a fan of Odd Future? lol — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I had a terrible time hiring rich people. It sounds funny, but the problem is when things go wrong they can ask,… — Ben Horowitz Copy Share Image
'Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything.… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
This Columbus Day, let's apologize for our historical mistreatment of American Indians by losing money at a tribal casino. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When it comes to racism, you hear people say, "I don't care if people are white, black, purple or green." Hold on,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I love Mikhail Bulgakov. He is very original and takes the story to unexpected places. I didn't realise political writing could be… — Denise Mina Copy Share Image
If I had someone buttering me up, maybe I'd have worked out. You don't even know where I came from. Nobody wants… — Nick Diaz Copy Share Image
I always say, if I tell you a joke right now and it's funny, you laugh. Now, we set the lights, and… — Martin Landau Copy Share Image
