I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match "It's a fight to the finish". That's a good place to end. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Doctor: Youre overweight. Patient: I think I want a second opinion. Doctor: You're also ugly. — SIAR Copy Share Image
To the girl that says all dudes are the same, No one told you to try them all. Slut! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Believing in everything at the same time is the same as not believing in anything at all. — Adil Hussain Copy Share Image
That Awkward Moment When You Shout The Wrong Answer In Class With Confidence :P ! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“We, in the interest of the so-called progress, have been persuaded to leave the production and at times the cooking of our… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Lay it on me" "I was trying to. Geez, woman, make up your mind," Fane hold her, eyes glowing. She threw one… — Quinn Loftis Copy Share Image
People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
It's funny, when your happy you never learn anything because nothing in your life is going wrong. We learn the most through… — Hero Copy Share Image
You don't get called up to the national team because you tell good jokes, you are funny, you are handsome or because… — Mario Kempes Copy Share Image
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car,… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“As he grinned, a dimple formed on his right cheek. My heart quivered. Men like him should come with a warning: date… — Jayde Scott Copy Share Image
“Maybe your aunt is funny in quiet moments with her friends because like many women her age, she was taught to not… — W. Kamau Bell Copy Share Image
