Astronaut restaurant review from the moon: The food is fine but there's not much atmosphere. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
BLOODY HELL FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMNIT I RIPPED MY KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON POSTER! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we dont talk, he works out alone, and I go home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just need a search engine that'll remember exactly what I was about to Google when I forget. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
*Follows Dreams* *Wait for few hours* *Dreams dont follow back* *Unfollows dreams* — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you send me abusive mentions, I will star it & then retweet your tweets to show you how my twitter life… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a virtual friend once. But all he did was tweeting all day. Also, his name was Virtual Friend. Man, what was… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Told my mom, I can become the next Hitler if I drop out of school. She laughed hysterically for 2 hours. I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If two people are arguing & one person says, You know what... Just sit back & enjoy. Trust me that argument is… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, The most slippery word in the human language -- used by knaves to seduce, by fools for comfort, and by most… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, A temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
5% of all hearing loss is a result of sitting in a restaurant next to a table full of women who just… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
