Funny Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 27

Don't Take It Seriously * When the BANKER says, If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest.

— Nikhil Saluja

Some day, you will trust me again...but for now, I'm sorry that our love had to end.

— Nikhil Saluja

Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.

— Nikhil Saluja

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

— Nikhil Saluja

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

— Nikhil Saluja

Cocks are a lot like ovens. You would rather a woman was operating it but sometimes you have to use it yourself.

— Nikhil Saluja

God gave us the miracle of life - sustaining water, & we turned it into Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi & Vodka. Good job, Morons.

— Nikhil Saluja

Good girls wear high heels to work Bad girls wear high heels to bed Naughty girls make you wear high heels

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A legal custom which turns a man into the captive audience of his wife;

— Nikhil Saluja

You are strong... when you take your grief and teach it to smile.

— Nikhil Saluja

I think that a man with a helmet defending his country should make more money than a man with a helmet defending…

— Nikhil Saluja

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes We ignore the obvious because we get too caught up in being hopeful.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a husband can determine when his wife comes to the end of one argument and begins the next;

— Nikhil Saluja

Technology: Pee on the iPhone 5, it turns pink if you're pregnant.

— Nikhil Saluja

He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation perfectly delightful.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A process much like a cafeteria -- you carefully look over the choices, select what looks the best -- and pay…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm bored. Maybe I should leave the house and check twitter from somewhere else.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are true... when you admit there are times you fool yourself.

— Nikhil Saluja

The only reason I'd ask what happen today, is to steal some ideas to tweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

If Girls Walk In A Group Its A Group If Boys Walk In A Group Its A GANG.. !

— Nikhil Saluja

Nothing makes me feel more grown up than using Facebook for actual social networking instead of stalking my exes.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

— Nikhil Saluja

Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVER(S), People who never get tired of each other because they are always talking about themselves;

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, Something they say is blind -- it's marriage which is the real eye opener;

— Nikhil Saluja

A girl loves when you go all-in in a poker game. The woman loves when you go all-in in the bedroom.

— Nikhil Saluja

Too MANY people ask for the truth, but too FEW can actually handle it.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are happy... when you see a flower and are thankful for the blessing.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent.

— Nikhil Saluja

I texted my girlfriend a picture of my flaccid penis. I just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her.

— Nikhil Saluja

LUXURIES, Items which, by grand design, always cost more -- for example: a divorce decree costs more than a marriage license

— Nikhil Saluja

The follower counts should be hidden so we can be fair and judge people only by the quality of their tweets.

— Nikhil Saluja

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to…

— Nikhil Saluja

If you convince me to make me think WHAT THE FUCK you instantly get a retweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate to travel. I guess it's because my father used to beat me with a globe.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, That ceremony which makes more strange bedfellows than politics;

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't try to please people you'll fail, But you can piss them off and please yourself!

— Nikhil Saluja

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just learned today that bacteria is not the back door of a cafeteria.

— Nikhil Saluja