Let's spend Memorial Day weekend celebrating the fact that Osama Bin Laden is still dead. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter if you're black or white... the only color that really matters is green. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My hair looks good: 3% at school. 7% at home. 90% before I'm about to shower. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I LOVE EVERYONE...SOME I LOVE TO BE AROUND, SOME I LOVE TO AVOID...AND SOME I WOULD LOVE TO PUNCH ON THEIR FACE...!!… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're taking off your jeans in the changing room, and your underwear decides to come off too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, more self confident, and a better dancer. I saw the video from last… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny how we can remember the lyrics to hundreds of songs, but can't remember anything when we study for a test. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't decide this Halloween whether to go as a slutty witch, a slutty nurse, a slutty schoolgirl, or just a total… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Thank you.” A bright blush stained her cheeks. “For last night. For chasing the monsters away…” “Anytime. It’s kind of my job… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always wanted to know how long 'forever' was and by looking at some people's relationships, it's around 3 to 4 weeks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My phone is like my lover…its the last thing I see at night , and the first thing I wake up to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: Mom, can I buy this? Mom: No. Me: I have my own money though. Mom: No. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when people ask if you're okay cause you yawned& your eyes watered. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh loving beauty, you float with grace If only you could hide your face. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life is a lot like toilet paper. You're either on a roll...or you're taking shit from some asshole. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Answer ''The Hokey Pokey'' on every question of a test because ''that's what it all about.'' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God made us friends cause he knew our parents wouldn't be able to handle us as sisters! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When are friends fall we laugh…... But when our phones fall we panic. ha — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Seeing you on Tuesday is always a welcome relief that you didn't give in to your suicidal thoughts on Monday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I HATE when I miss a call by a few seconds, call the person back, and they don't answer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's go do something we can complain our future children never do anymore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when youre laughing and your gum falls out of your mouth. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In about 20 years, the hardest thing our kids will have to do is find a username that is not taken. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that Im typing this with my middle finger. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Admit it, we've all tried to accomplish as much as possible before the microwave stops. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you have something stupid to say, please raise your hand and put it firmly over your mouth! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't know what's more awkward.. Answering Dora.. Or her staring at you while you sit in silence.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
