I hope your kids cope with the divorce well enough to serve as a prop to help get you laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Greetings, I have recently become acquainted with you, So here are my digits, So call me perhaps? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I saw a spider in my bathtub, so I got a piece of tissue and very carefully…burned the house down. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I do like the way twitter marks all sex offenders with little blue ticks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think most of my coworkers would be that much different if they became actual zombies. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Jello has set the sun has risen today is the day we get out of prison — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: I'm so tired I could collaspe into bed and sleep for a year.. Me: gets in bed Me: how was earth… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when a guy looks at me and I cant tell if hes thinking I'm cute or if hes thinking, 'How… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not addicted to twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love you guys , you's are like my second family &' honestly mean the world to me if it wasn't for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was trying to hold on but you were trying to let go. But know this; once you let me go, I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pretty friend: I just got 100 likes on my photo ! athletic friend: I just beat everyone in the school at running… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
