Funny irish Quotes

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

— Brendan Behan

God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.

— Ed McMahon

You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.

— Hal Roach

Irish Alzheimer's: you forget everything except the grudges

— Judy Collins

What's the use of being Irish if you can't be thick?

— Billy Conn

The Irish are a fair people: They never speak well of one another.

— Samuel Johnson

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

— Daniel Tosh

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart?

— John F. Kennedy

St. Patrick... one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of…

— Charles Madigan

My wife's a loving, funny, Irish-spirited person, and I'm still surprised at some of the things she says. She makes me laugh…

— Gary Sinise

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

— Frank Yankovic

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy.

— James Goldsmith