Girl: Dad, I'm a lesbian. Sister: Me too dad. Dad: So no one here likes guys?!?! Son: I do... — Carlos Banks Copy Share Image
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed. I miss teleporting. It never happens to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A Kid On His Way 2 Home With His Mom Saw A Couple Kissing On The Road, He Suddenly Shouted & Said:… — Shubham Pal Copy Share Image
Your iPhone 5 will be the perfect device to play with while you're waiting in line for the iPhone 5S. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Person (angered): Hey, get that thing out of my face! You (calmly): Its not in your face, its in my hand. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Have you ever changed a whole text message just because you didn't know how to spell one word? — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
You think your life is hard? Just think, there's a turtle out there has been flipped on its back and can't get… — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
If I know the person talks a lot I avoid using these words: 1) Really? 2) Please explain! 3) Hello. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they fuck up I will just hit… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I didn't scream out someone else's name during sex...I was just thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I Promise You I Will Be Here To The Very End I'll Never Leave You Can Turn To Me For Anything. When… — Zariahh Renee Copy Share Image
I don't get nervous if I'm surrounded by beautiful women. I know they're all too busy hating each other to notice me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girlfriend broke up with me because she says I listen to way to much Linkin park but in the end it… — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
LOVER(S), A person who could only be more perfect if your partner turned into a pizza at 4:00 am — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When it comes to sex and phone calls, I have mastered the art of keeping them under a few minutes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You Can Waste It Or Use It For Good! What You Do Today Is Important Because You Are Exchanging A Day Of… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel people in their stomachs? It's something to think about — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's kinda funny how in 2010 and 2011 people were freaking out about 2012. Now it's four months away from December and… — Will Ferrell Copy Share Image
This ho says boy I got high heels bigger than your dick, sikee reply bitch I got sneakers fresher than your Pussy... — Kevin Mccarty Copy Share Image
When you're home alone and you hear a strange noise & you're just like - _ - WTF! WHO'S THERE?! — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Girl's Life Lesson 1: Crying confuses men. They get uncomfortable and will do anything to get it to stop. Take advantage. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter of civilization — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If Facebook ever shuts down. You'll see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in others faces screaming 'Do you like this!?!?!.. DO… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
He'll never be better than he is on the first date. Unless he's rich and hasn't told you yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I want to go on a shopping trip where I am the only one in the shopping mall and everything I want… — Mee Copy Share Image
If the world was run by women, it would be mostly peaceful with heated arguments every 28 days. — Alec Straub Copy Share Image
Blonde and Brunette r walking on the road.brunette says Look, a dead bird. Blonde looks up in the sky, WHERE, WHERE? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you mess up a guy's hair, he thinks it's cute. But when you mess up a GIRL'S hair... I hope you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you pick up a phone call and wish you didn't because the caller's asking for something you don't… — Saramae Copy Share Image
Spooning For girls: A nice, warm and cozy cuddle. For guys: A dead arm, a face full of hair and a awkward… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy: you are the most funniest and beautiful girl I have ever met. Girl: you just want to fuck me. Boy: wow.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I drive if you beep your horn 1 second after the light changes green I will shut off my car, lay… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Shes A Keeper. . . . .Then KEEP Her ! If She's A Freak. . . . .Then FREAK Her. .… — Jason Santana Copy Share Image
Mom: YOU'RE GROUNDED. Me: Psh. Fine I don't care. Mom: Give me your phone then. Me: OMG IM SO SORRY MOM I… — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Never lend a book to someone who don't know how to read, never give your heart to someone that don't know how… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
